When jokes

I wanted to be an astronaut, but my parents always told me when I was little that the sky was the limit.

What do you do when a person with epilepsy gets seizures in the bathtub? Throw in some laundry.

When people make accounts about you and a category.

The thing I don't like about shopping centers...

When you see one, you've seen a mall.

When deaf people see someone yawning, do they think they're screaming?

So there I was, having a fantastic time going down on my nan.

When suddenly I got a nasty taste in my mouth.

"Wait a minute," I said. This distinctly tastes like horse semen.

Then it clicked.

"Ah, so that's how you died."

what's the difference between an onion and a baby?

nobody cries when you cut up the baby.

i raped a dog. When asked how her experience was, she said ruff

What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Wow, hairy!"

Q: When and where was the biggest BBQ ever?

A: Hiroshima, Japan 1946.

what's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? the trampoline doesn't cave in when i jump on it.

Cops go to the hood when the shooting range is closed.

It's telling that Ye gets more offended when he's called a gayfish than a Nazi.

My parents were concerned when I said I like to bleed, but at least I cut my risk of cancer and stroke in half.

This dwarf was being mean to me, so I said, "When you get home, I hope Snow White kicks the shit out of you."

What did the processor say when it was being overclocked?

"Stop it! It hertz so much!"

Alzheimer's protesters march chanting. "What do we want? Better treatment... When do we want it? ...Want what?"

What did the baby cow say to the mommy cow when he saw a hamburger?

"Mommy, is that Uncle Joe?"

When the school shooter breaks into your classroom, so you try to say goodbye to your Roblox gf, but then the shooter's phone goes off.

What did one shoe say to the other shoe when they were fighting?

I wanna sock you in the eye so bad!