When jokes

How do you know when your sister is on her period? When your dad's cock tastes of blood.

What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Wow, hairy!"

what's the difference between an onion and a baby?

nobody cries when you cut up the baby.

what's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? the trampoline doesn't cave in when i jump on it.

Yo mama's so old, when she was a girl, rainbows were black and white.

I heard that my crush got kicked in the balls and when I thought of it...

Cops go to the hood when the shooting range is closed.

This dwarf was being mean to me, so I said, "When you get home, I hope Snow White kicks the shit out of you."

When the school shooter breaks into your classroom, so you try to say goodbye to your Roblox gf, but then the shooter's phone goes off.

What's an orphan's favorite part in the Wizard of Oz?

When Dorothy says, "There's no place like home."

What did the baby cow say to the mommy cow when he saw a hamburger?

"Mommy, is that Uncle Joe?"

What did one shoe say to the other shoe when they were fighting?

I wanna sock you in the eye so bad!

Alzheimer's protesters march chanting. "What do we want? Better treatment... When do we want it? ...Want what?"

It's telling that Ye gets more offended when he's called a gayfish than a Nazi.

What did the processor say when it was being overclocked?

"Stop it! It hertz so much!"

What is the difference between a washing machine and a child?

The washing machine doesn't cry when you put a load in it.

I asked an emo girl, "Do you ever get jealous of your phone when it dies?"

When you forget the pinata at the birthday party. The kids: "Aww man." But the emo kid just hung himself. Kids: "Yaaaaayyy." Parents: "Adjust, improvise, overcome, that is the way."

I don't understand why, when I went to the shooting range today, the police came. Like, bro, I always go to elementary schools.

I'm still not sure how I'm not in jail or have been fined for littering. When I was born, I was born in a hospital trash can, therefore making me a literal piece of trash. That being said, any time I'm out in public, I'm a piece of litter.