When jokes

What did the short Chinese man say when he was called a dwarf? "Da fok yu sai tu meee."

What do you say when you see your TV floating away at night?

"Drop it, Jamal!"

I don't understand why, when I went to the shooting range today, the police came. Like, bro, I always go to elementary schools.

Your mom is so fat that when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed, but the sidewalk cracked up.

I was crying when Sasha died in AOT, I also got jealous.

When I see lovers' names carved on a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.

What happens when Rick Astley is getting an erection whilst singing "Never Gonna Give You Up"?

You get PRICKrolled.

I was happy for once, and my family was happy I was happy, but that all changed when they found out I was thinking about bridges and humans.

When does a doctor get mad?

When he runs out of patients!

What did Batman do when he went shopping?

Got ham!

When the police caught him stealing the batteries, he got immediately charged!

What is a cup called when they show a ton of emotions?

Answer: Expresso! (KILL MEH)

I was laughing my ass off when the 12-year-old child realized the door to my basement was unlocked, and he didn't need to cannibalize his two friends in a desperate attempt for survival. 🤣🤣🤣

When someone says you're adopted, say, "But you're still at the orphanage."

I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.

I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.

When the US Army found Chinese soldiers selling secrets to China, they said, "Looks like we have some chinks in our armor."

Why is prostitution illegal?

Because when it comes to screwing people and taking their money, the government doesn't want anyone outperforming them.

What's the difference between a baby and garlic bread? I feel bad when I drop garlic bread.

when someone says to cheer up: you, I never thought of that. :)

-> in reality, :( (sob)

depression is no game, and here in this world, we are here for each other, although at times it might not seem like it.

Keep strong, and you'll find the end of the tunnel, but ending the pain and being gone just spreads depression.

Last Halloween, I went dressed as a woman. When I rang the doorbell, an elderly woman opened it, and I made a grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands.

She immediately called the police and told them exactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First, he asked if my parents were here, and I said nothing. Concerned by my answer, he then asked if I was okay, so I said nothing. He asked me what my name was, and I responded, "Hellen Keller."