When jokes
Fat jokes and mom jokes😂
1. So fat when she sat on the toilet, she said, "A B C D E F G, get your fat ass off me."
2. So fat, your dad and her were in bed and tried to kiss. He’d have to slap her belly and ride the third wave up.
3. Yo mama so fat that when she went to Japan in a green bikini, they all started yelling, "Godzilla, Godzilla."
4. Your mama’s so fat when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!
5. Bill was so fat when he stepped on the scale, it said "to be continued."
6. Yo mama so fat, she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
A note for my old English Teacher:
Mr. Colin, who loves making a din, He thinks everyone loves him, but little does he know, That's not what everyone shows, About his life he ploughs and ploughs, About his dog Bella and his relationship woes... Mr. Colin, we do not care, When you speak, our minds are not there, Your life you have unnecessarily shared, When we see you, our eyesight is impaired... Mr. Colin, rumbling about his exceptions, Just when someone puts something in the bin, Or chatters to someone, not even causing a din, But Mr. Colin, drinking too much gin, Will flail all his annoying attention on him, He'll push his limits, right to the rim...
And just how I love flan! Oh, he's finally gone!
How come pizza boxes are square when the pizza is a circle cut into triangles?
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?
I care when my computer crashes.
My wife told me I could never, ever build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!
What is the definition of clapped?
Ur mum when I am in her bed.
What did the wizard say when he was filling up the gas tank? "Expensive Petroleum!"
Little Johnny when he makes a Uranus joke:
Little Johnny: I have achieved comedy! 😂😂😂😂😂
What's the hardest thing when working with the severely mentally handicapped?
My dick.
What do you get when you cross a shark and a computer? Computer bytes!
What time is it when you get hit by a car? Time to die.
What did Sally do when she got home?
Cry because she has no arms.
When I finished high school, I wanted to take my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle, but my mom said no.
See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was eighteen, and I could just have his motorcycle.
What did the sweet potato say to the potato when he was told to hurry?
I yam.
What do you get when you throw holy water on a cow?
A holy cow!
I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it's Election night.
What did the Twin Towers say when they saw the airplane?
Batter up!
What do we want?!
A cure for Tourette's!!
When do we want it?!
Cunt!!!
Your hairline is so long that when I put it on email, it didn't send, which is ETHAN BRIDEWATER.
I was taking a walk near the prison when I saw a good looking guy climbing down the fence, and when he noticed me, he gave me a sneer! It was pretty condescending.