When jokes

Who remembers when ‘tweeting’ meant “stabbing a hooker”?

Yo mama's so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," he asked her to move out of the way.

This is Sally.

Sally says hi.

This is Sally when a car comes by. 🤕

What did the cat say when he was stuck on a thorn-bush?

"Meow!"

What did the marshmallow say when he was roasting in the fire? "Is it hot in here, or is it just me?"

Yo mama so old that when she farts, she farts dust!

What time is it when you get home, can walk walk home and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home? Was your dinner night and dinner night?

What do you get when you cross breed a woman and a horse? A neigh-ga.

Don't tell me to accept trannies for who they are when they can't even accept themselves for who they are.

Back in ancient Greece, there was a Greek Skyrim, but instead of FUS ROH DAH, the main character said, "Me damnit, Ganymede, get the #10 lightning bolt, I hate it when Helios lets his kids drive!"

If you don't get this, look up the story of Phaethon, and if you STILL don't get it, then you are dumb.

When a person asked to see her balance at a bank, they pushed him over.

You're so skinny you're a thin stick.

You're so fat that when you got in Pacific Ocean, you became the Pacific Ocean.

You're so ugly you got stuff for free.

You're so nasty that when you eat spaghetti, you thought it was throw up.

You're so fat you're the fattest person on Earth.

You are so gay you kissed the boy last night.

When your friend gets involved with someone, it affects the friendship. Whenever a friend of mine has a new girlfriend, we should say I looked like the person you used to know, but I've been modified to survive in this relationship. If we have an argument and she's there, I might disagree with you; I'd rather continue to see her naked.

When a man loses his testosterone,

Man: Could I please have a loaner boner?

I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for Miraculous Ladybug children's show, whatever the show is called, but it's a kids show. 💀 Now they’re searching up pictures of Tom Holland laughing in their absolute weirdness.

I like Tom Holland, but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school-provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on Google Docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him.

Q. What do you say when your friend has an abortion?

A. May your baby rest in pieces.

"When God sends me to hell... I want him to hesitate." -Techno

When prostitutes misbehave, do their pimps make them stand out on the corner with a "For Rent" sign on their crotch?

I took my pony to the vet because I thought he was making a funny noise when he neighed. The vet said everything was okay and he was just a little horse.

Falco: Dreaming of a day when I don’t hear people say I’m a knockoff Fox, knockoff Fox.

Fox: Dreaming of a day when you die in a fire and I get all your aerial skills.

Falco: Wat...