When jokes

Your mama is so fat. When she went skydiving, it caused a global panic.

You're so skinny when you lift up weights, you fall through your asshole.

Your mum is so fat, when the doctors did her x-ray, the doctor said to her, "I want your x-ray, not an elephant's x-ray!"

Okay, so I have a dairy and sugar allergy, and if I eat it, I get REALLY CONSTIPATED, so this is me when I’m constipated ᕙ(⇀‸↼‵‵)ᕗ lol.

Roses are red, the grass is greener, when I see you, I play with my wiener.

What do you call it when Panera Bread is running away?

Panera fled.

Did I tell you I finally got my wife to scream during sex? Yeah, you should have heard her the other day when I walked in on her.

Science experts say when you get mad, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

You're so fat, when you went on the weighing scale, it said "to be continued."

You: I have a nice hairline.

Your friend: Since when do you have one?

You: I forgot.

What sound does an Indian make when you're trying to fuck it? ieieieie.

What happens when you hit Dwayne Johnson's butt? You hit rock bottom.

Your mama is so fat, when she farted, the world had to wear gas masks.

What does a kid do when he's bored and he's sitting? He puts wheels on the chair and makes it a wheelchair.

During school today, a girl gave my friend her number. When I saw it, it was the principal's number.

Yo mama so fat, when she jumped, gravity was no more.

What do you call Cyanne when she first wakes up? Nanny McPhee.

What does Tiffany call Chucky when he is staring at her Barbie?

"Eye torture!"

When an orphan is playing baseball, how come the coach doesn't tell them to hit it home?

He has no home to hit to.

You know somebody has a fat ass when someone is standing between you and them, and all you can focus on is that trunk.