Fast jokes
A cop stopped a guy for speeding. He said, "Do you know how fast you were going?" "I was trying to keep up with traffic," the guy replied. The cop said, "But there is no traffic." And the guy answered, "That's how far behind I am."
Ur mom fat lol.
Why do the French eat snails?
They don't like fast food.
Three drunk men get in a taxi. The driver knew they were drunk, so he started the car and turned it off. The first man gave him the money. The second man thanked him, but the third man slapped the driver. The driver, surprised that he noticed, asked why, and the third man replied with, "Why did you drive so fast?"
What do you call a Pokémon who can’t move very fast?
A Slowpoke.
Q: What is the difference between a stripper and a bungee cord?
A: It's cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're pretty much screwed.
Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall, his mom did a terri-fried call.
He got hurt in a egg-cident, and it never got eggs-elent.
When the eggs-plant was over, he got told to use the mower.
It happened too fast, he watched the very last.
Next he died, eaten all fried.
How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast? They marched in backwards and the Polish people thought they were leaving.
What's fast and almost got away?
A Mexican jumping the border.
A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
I'm a fast reader, I can go through 20 stories in a few seconds.
I got caught masturbating in the bath by my mum!
I said, "Mum, I’ll wash it as hard and fast as I want!"
Two cannibals have just captured a man and are about to eat him, so they cook him and lay him on a table. The first cannibal says, "You start at the bottom, I start at the top," so they both chow down.
About half an hour later, the second cannibal says, "I'm having a ball!" Then the first cannibal says, "Then you're eating too fast!"
I was excited to watch Fast and Furious because of Dom Toretto, then I realized family is nothing to me 'cause I'm an orphan.
Welcome to the Fast Food Divorce Center where yesterday's lies are today's fries.
Did you hear about the cheetah who robbed a bank? He ran away so fast he almost got away with it, but he was spotted.
One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles. Once the cops arrived and asked what had happened, the snail said, "I don't know, it all happened too fast!"
I lost a race with a handicapped person today. The problem was the race was all stairs.
Gravity sure is fast.
Roses are red. Walls are made of plaster. Schoolchildren can move fast, But bullets can move faster.
Ever wondered why Usain Bolt runs fast? He's training to outrun the cops.