Why do the French eat snails?
They don't like fast food.
A cop stopped a guy for speeding.
He said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
"I was trying to keep up with traffic," the guy replied.
The cop said, "But there is no traffic."
And the guy answered, "That's how far behind I am."
Three drunk men get in a taxi. The driver knew they were drunk, so he started the car and turned it off. The first man gave him the money. The second man thanked him, but the third man slapped the driver. The driver, surprised that he noticed, asked why, and the third man replied with, "Why did you drive so fast?"
Q: What is the difference between a stripper and a bungee cord?
A: It's cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're pretty much screwed.
One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles. Once the cops arrived and asked what had happened, the snail said, "I don't know, it all happened too fast!"
ur mom fat lol
A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
"Guess how I got to Germany so fast?"
"Because I was Russian!"
I'm a fast reader, I can go through 20 stories in a few seconds.
How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast? They marched in backwards and the Polish people thought they were leaving.
I lost a race with a handicapped person today. The problem was the race was all stairs.
Gravity sure is fast.
Did you hear about the cheetah who robbed a bank? He ran away so fast he almost got away with it, but he was spotted.
What food does a cheetah eat?
Fast food.
I got caught masturbating in the bath by my mum!
I said, "Mum, I’ll wash it as hard and fast as I want!"
Wanna hear a joke about the Flash?
"Never mind, it's too fast."
Welcome to the Fast Food Divorce Center where yesterday's lies are today's fries.
I looked up how fast does cum shoot and it said 28 mph. That means that ejaculation is illegal in school zones!
What do you call a Pokémon who can’t move very fast?
A Slowpoke.
I was excited to watch Fast and Furious because of Dom Toretto, then I realized family is nothing to me 'cause I'm an orphan.
The reason why the "eating a tide pod" trend ended so fast is because everyone that did it died.
