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Why do the French eat snails? – They don’t like fast food.

I ran over neighbors cat last night and I just want to say… THAT THING WAS FAST! I had run a red light to get it!

What does Sonic say when he doesn’t want to get caught f...ing in public? Gotta Go Fast

A cop stopped a guy for speeding.

He said, “Do you know how fast you were going?”

“I was trying to keep up with traffic,” the guy replied.

The cop said, “But there is no traffic.”

And the guy answered, “That’s how far behind I am.”

The reason why the “eating a tide pod” trend ended so fast is because everyone that did it died.

“Guess how I got to Germany so fast?”

“Because I was Russian!”

Jeff asks, "Did you hear about the guy they call the flash?" Bob responds, "No, I haven’t. Do they call him that because he runs fast?" Jeff replies, “Nah, they call him that because he doesn’t wear pants.”

One day a snail got robbed by 2 turtles, once the cops arrived and asked what had happened, Snail said “I dont know it all happed to fast”!

3 Drunk men get in a taxi, the driver knew they were drunk so he started the car and turned it off. the first man gave him the money, the second man thanked him but the third man slapped the driver, the driver surprised that he noticed so he askes why and the third man replies with ¨why did you drive so fast.¨

Johnny is very attached to his parents, he asks to take a shower with her when she gets in. He looks down and asks "whats that?"The mother replies "that’s my garage" he looks up and asks what are those? The mother responds “those are my headlights.” He then goes and takes a shower with his dad. He looks down “daddy whats that?” The dad replies “that’s my car.” He goes to sleep that night and wakes up because of a bad dream. He goes and tell his mother and she says “you can lay with me.” He falls fast asleep then wakes up once more because of falling off the bed he gets back up and gets under the covers. Then he feels the bed moving he looks under the covers to investigate and see’s them going at it he then yells “mommy turn on you’re headlights daddy’s parking his car in you’re garage!” THUD

A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

Why do French like to eat snails so much?

They can’t stand fast food.

My friend asked me how fast my humor was and I said it jumps borders then he asked how dark my humor is and I said it picks cotton.

What food does a cheetah eat? Fast food

What do sprinters eat before a race? – Nothing, they fast.

Two cannibals have just captured a man and are about to eat him, so they cook him and lay him on a table. the first cannibal says “you start at the bottom I start at the top” so they both chow down. about half an hour later, the second cannibal says “i’m having a ball” then than the the first cannibal says “than you’re eating too fast”

I’m a fast reader, I can go through 20 stories in a few seconds.

Roses are red Walls are made of plaster Schoolchildren can move fast But bullets can move faster

I was out ice fishing, and had no nibbles all morning. About noon, this old guy comes out, drills a hole near mine, and starts catching fish as fast as he can bait the hook. I was getting frustrated without any luck, so I went over to ask him his secret. He said “Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg.” I said “Excuse,me, I didn’t get that?” so he mumbles even louder, “Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg!” I shook my head and said “I’m sorry, but I still didn’t understand what you said.” Frustrated, the man spits out a wad out of his mouth and says “YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE WORMS WARM!”

Humpty Dumpty felled off the wall, his mom did a terri-fried call. He got hurt in a egg-cident & it never got eggs-elent. When the eggs-plant was over, he got told to use the mower. It happened too fast, he watched the very last. Next he died, eaten all fried.