When jokes
Yo mama so disgusting that when she took a shower, the water turned into ditchwater.
My friend's dad died during 9/11. He was such a good pilot, but my friend kept disturbing him, so when his dad died, he said, "It was you who killed me" (to the child).
So the child said, "Yoo-hoo? What type of name is Yoo-hoo, but Yoo-hoo, Yoo-hoo come here, I need to kill you NOW."
When Canadians get hurt, they don't go "ouch," they go "ooch!"
Your mama is so far that when she told a joke, no one was laughing, but the floor was literally cracking up.
Your mama is so ugly that when she stood on the scale, it said "to be continued."
Memes
Yo mama so poor, when I rang her doorbell, she said, "Ding!"
When I saw someone jump out of one of the towers, I yelled, "Do a flip!"
What do you get when an American talks to an Aussie and a Kiwi?
Two Aussie.
The person next to me on my flight was shocked when they found out I was Arabian. I lagged so hard my gerber almost fell out of my pocket.
I like trees when they are firmly stuck in a hole. PS, your hole.
When you're playing online with your friend, then you hear a kid scream: "No, Dad, please stop!" Scream ends with a gunshot.
Don't you hate it when you sit on your balls? It's a real nutcracker!
Yo mama so fat when she asked for a bathtub, they put a blanket over an ocean!
What did the dog say when he came home from a long shift at work? Today was ruff.
Q: What did the grandma cat say to her grandson when she saw him slouching?
A: You need to pay more attention to my pawsture.
Y'know what's really sad?
Why break the fourth wall when you can turn the third wheel?
When you are losing at Tetris, I guess the odds are STACKED against you.
What did the parrot say when it saw a duck?
"Polly want a quacker!"
Worst joke ever.
Why did Stephen Hawking die when he logged onto Facebook?
It took all his info!
What is a good night's sleep? I love it when you walk home and walk walk home from school. Was your time I had dinner night night? Dinner night, is it fun for me? I o I had dinner.