When jokes

Dark humor is like a cancer, it's funnier when a kid gets it.

When a school shooter walks to the intercom and plays Pumped Up Kicks.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

My mom tells me when I get into an argument with her that she brought me into this world and she can take me out. Sometimes I wanna tell her that I can do that for her.

I had a very long dream that I was eating the most juiciest, tastiest meal I'd ever eaten in my life. Then when I woke up, my wife was gone.

I was exploring a haunted mansion when I encountered a ghost named Pristiano Penaldo. He asked if I supported Burnley as he wanted to statpad against me. Luckily, I pulled out my trusty Liverpool shirt, and he disappeared. Shame on you, Penaldo.

When I get suicidal, everyone worries. I don't know why because that is when I'm the happiest, thinking about death.

When a midget smokes weed, does it get medium?

[Them]: "Don't you think you'll feel ashamed of all the suicide jokes you've made when you get older?"

[Me]: "When I what?" 0-0

A bomb is like a baby; when you drop it, everyone screams.

Why does the Norway navy have barcodes on the sides of their ships?

So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.

What does Bugs Bunny say when he has a boner?

"What's up, cock?"

How are rape and airplanes similar?

The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.

What happens when you make an asían girl squirt?

She charges you 10 cents for extra sauce.

I started crying when my dad was cutting onions.

Onions was such a good dog.

What do you call it when an orphan takes a family photo? A selfie.

Do emo kids get jealous of their phone when it dies?

What is the fastest thing in the world?

James Charles when he sees little boys.

I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.

Yo mama so ugly when her parents had a gender reveal party the balloon came out green.