When jokes

Two cannibals are eating a clown, when one cannibal looks up and asks the other cannibal: "Does he taste funny to you?"

Yo mama so fat that when she crossed the road, people mistook her for a roundabout.

Where do feminists go when they die? "Hell's Kitchen."

😳 😳 😳 what can a physically handicapped ♿ 👬 👨 👨 gay man can do better than a physically handicapped ♿ bisexual man 👨 👩 👨 🤔 when his 👄 mouth is wide open 😍 when his head is sticking out under the stall inside the men's 🚹 restroom 🚻 at a rest 😴 area 😴 suck the chrome of a tall pipe 👄

Yesterday in my dream I ate a ten pound marshmallow, when I woke up, my pillow was gone.

Your mama is so fat, when she went camping, the bears hid their food from her.

Q: what happened when the depressed kid wanted to high five the tree?

A: It left him/her/them hanging.

What is purple and whines when it’s squished?

A bunch of grapes! 🍇😂

What is the fastest thing in the world?

James Charles when he sees little boys.

When Chuck Norris breaks a mirror, the mirror gets seven years of bad luck.

Johnny Depp to a 15-year-old girl: "Wow, look at that sexy body! Savvy!"

Michael Jackson, when talking about a 6-year-old boy: "The boy is mine! That doggone boy is mine! Don't waste your time...."

Donald Trump, Bill Clinton, and Jeffrey Epstein entering and exclaiming, "Wow, this place is more fun than the Playboy Mansion!"

They found water on Mars. Mars:1 Africa:0

What do you get when you put a suicide bomber in a wheel chair? An RC-XD.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Orphans don't get picked.

I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears, people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.

Why are people mass buying toilet paper because of the coronavirus?

When someone sneezes, everyone shits their pants.

I was in a public bathroom in a handicap stall, and when I got out, a handicapped man told me that I was an a**hole. I told him, "Bet you won't stand up and say that to my face," and then he broke down.

What did the soldier say when he sees a terrorist in a wheelchair?

RC-XD incoming.

When we were visiting the Hoover Dam, I started to get a bit hungry. I asked my parents, "Where's the dam snack bar?"

What do you get when you mix up a group of emos?

Suicide squad.

A woman decides to take a well-earned vacation, and she asks her brother to watch her cat while she's away.

On the second day, when she calls her brother to see how things are going, he tells her bluntly that the cat is dead.

The woman is really upset and goes into hysterics, before saying, "You can't tell a person bad news so bluntly. You should break the news gently. The first day, you should have said that Fluffy was stuck on the roof and couldn't get down. The second day, you could have said that she had fallen, but the vet said she would be okay. Then on the third day, you could have said that she died from complications."

The next day, the woman calls her brother again and asks how things are. He says, "Well, Grandma is stuck on the roof and can't get down..."

Three men are traveling through the desert when their single camel dies. They walk for a while, but then it becomes night. Desperate for shelter, they suddenly stumble across a tent, and inside are three beautiful women. The men were not only lost but horny, too, so they begin to have sex with the women. But the tent belongs to a prince, and these three women were his wives, so he is very angry when he arrives an hour later and sees three strangers having sex with his wives. He tells the three men he will chop off their penises as punishment, in some way relating to their job. He asks the first man what his job is:

The guy says, "I'm a fireman."

The prince says, "Then we'll burn your dick off!"

The second guy says, "I'm an employee at the shooting range."

The prince says, "Then we'll shoot your dick off!"

The third guy smiles and says, "I'm a lollipop salesman."