When jokes
What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer?
You can’t pull on her hair when you’re raping her.
They found water on Mars. Mars:1 Africa:0
What do you get when you put a suicide bomber in a wheel chair? An RC-XD.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Orphans don't get picked.
So a guy named Nathaniel just came home, and when he enters his sister’s room, he sees her f***ing a piece of broccoli. And Nathaniel says, “Abbie, what’s wrong with you? I was going to eat that later, and now it smells like broccoli!”
Two cannibals are eating a clown, when one cannibal looks up and asks the other cannibal: "Does he taste funny to you?"
Yo mama so fat that when she crossed the road, people mistook her for a roundabout.
Memes
When I tell my bf I saw him fall yesterday.
Where do feminists go when they die? "Hell's Kitchen."
Why is it that when I'm in school doing PE, it's fine for someone to say "boys against girls", but the moment I say "blacks against whites" I'm the bad guy?
😳 😳 😳 what can a physically handicapped ♿ 👬 👨 👨 gay man can do better than a physically handicapped ♿ bisexual man 👨 👩 👨 🤔 when his 👄 mouth is wide open 😍 when his head is sticking out under the stall inside the men's 🚹 restroom 🚻 at a rest 😴 area 😴 suck the chrome of a tall pipe 👄
Yesterday in my dream I ate a ten pound marshmallow, when I woke up, my pillow was gone.
When we were visiting the Hoover Dam, I started to get a bit hungry. I asked my parents, "Where's the dam snack bar?"
Your mama is so fat, when she went camping, the bears hid their food from her.
Q: what happened when the depressed kid wanted to high five the tree?
A: It left him/her/them hanging.
What is purple and whines when it’s squished?
A bunch of grapes! 🍇😂
When Chuck Norris breaks a mirror, the mirror gets seven years of bad luck.
Johnny Depp to a 15-year-old girl: "Wow, look at that sexy body! Savvy!"
Michael Jackson, when talking about a 6-year-old boy: "The boy is mine! That doggone boy is mine! Don't waste your time...."
Donald Trump, Bill Clinton, and Jeffrey Epstein entering and exclaiming, "Wow, this place is more fun than the Playboy Mansion!"
I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears, people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.
Remember kids, when you're angry, burn down an orphanage. Then they'll really be living the hard knock life.
Why are people mass buying toilet paper because of the coronavirus?
When someone sneezes, everyone shits their pants.
I was in a public bathroom in a handicap stall, and when I got out, a handicapped man told me that I was an a**hole. I told him, "Bet you won't stand up and say that to my face," and then he broke down.
What do you get when you mix up a group of emos?
Suicide squad.