When jokes

Your momma is so fat that when she egged the Twin Towers, she threw a airplane on accident.

What is the best time to eat dinner?

When you're hungry.

I like it when your mom keeps on top of things.

(Male fantasy)

Yeah, on top of me on the living room carpet, snogging my face off.

I said, "Are you half left or half right?"

"Neither! In-between."

"What?! In between your mom's tits when you go to sleep with her at night?"

When we take a family photo, you are the background.

Beauty is blind? Ya damn right, 'cause that's what happened when she saw your ass.

Everyone becomes happy when they complete the last stage of the game.

But the cancer patients aren't.

What do you call it when the Edmonton Oilers play against the Nashville Predators? A Diddy Bowl.

How did the person feel when his partner wouldn't perform a golden shower on him? Pissed off.

When I was feeling suicidal, I called the suicide hotline and they left me hanging.

What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?

Someone who COUNTS BARS all day!

What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?

When a bullet kills somebody, you know it's been fired.

Q. What do you get when you cross Vince Li with a bus? A. A whole lot of people who wished they'd missed the bus that day.

When you accidentally make your joke too dirty and get in shit from Explain Bear.

When slave owners can't get a girlfriend, do they MASTERbate?

When a redhead commits a mass shooting, does the headline read, "Ginger snaps"?

When a baby was born to a slave, did the slave owners hang a "Bred in Captivity" sign above the crib?

When prostitutes misbehave, do their pimps make them stand out on the corner with a "For Rent" sign on their crotch?

Leo must be an INTERIOR DECORATOR... because when she enters a room, it becomes UGLY.

Hi, how are you? Busy doing today? Did I have to text more today after dinner? I did text, and you have been to the vet and walk walk home from home and walk walk home 🏠. Night is so nice 👍. I did not walk away, but you don’t want me to text me to let you know when I get home, can you walk?