When jokes
When a deaf person has sex, do they use one hand to moan?
My parents used to make me and my siblings apologize to the ground when we stomped.
If I had done "it," I would have gotten SO many apologies.
One day I visited my friend in a hospital.
I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"
Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.
You are like a thunderstorm; when you go away, like your dad, everyone is happy.
What did God say when he created the first black person?
"Behold, this specimen of divine integrity!"
When you when, the when at, when with you know, the you, you, that you ever, when... you dont know whats going on.
What's the difference between when I opened the window in a car wash and when Kawhi Leonard did it? At least my dad didn't get shot in the eye.
Women be like, "Men's heights," then cry when they get called fat...
Your Mom is so friking fat, that when she ripped her pants and went to the seamster, they said, "We don't sew curtains!"
When you tell the men in the suits you can see that the demons of your sins are watching you...
But they know you're blind.
When is the peanut butter due to arrive?
In a Jif.
When is a cold not a cold?
A guy went back to his apartment. Five minutes later, he said to the receptionist, "It doesn't fit!" So she gave him a new key.
What did the tomato say to the tomato ketchup?
What happened when the emo kid gave the tree a high five? It left him hanging.
What does Finn Wolfhard do when he makes a good joke?
He drops the Mike.
Say the drive through at McDonald's, order (don't say the sake) but when you get it ask them, "My sake?" and say, "Sake that ass."
Your mama is so ugly that when she walked in the bank, they had to turn off the cameras.
So, when I'm about to take a shower, my mom says, "Take a shower." When I'm about to take out the trash, my mom says, "Take out the trash."
When God said, "Let there be light," He saw your mum and said, "Let there be dark."
When the police saw your hairline, they gave your barber a breathalyzer test.