When jokes
When the airplane saw the Twin Towers, it said, "We can't go over it, we can't go under it, we can't go around it, guess we will go through it."
What did the Twin Towers' mom say when she fed them? "Open wide honey, here comes the airplane."
What happened when the American broke his arm?
He went broke.
So, I took a poop outside. When I was done, I wiped and got it on my finger. After that, I had Nutella, and I thought the poop on my hand was Nutella, and I licked it. I said, "Daddy chill, what in the heck is this crap?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
When my friend fell, I didn't crack up, but the sidewalk did.
when you forget to close your fridge
Chemistry joke: Why did the Superman being normal people when a krypton was at him?
Because krypton is "stable."
What does a wife and a boombox have in common?
They only work when you beat them.
It's sad when you sit around waiting for mom to make dinner, and then you realize you are the mom.
What do you call it when you baptize a Mexican? Bean dip!
When I saw a girl sitting on the ground crying, I asked her where her parents were. She cried louder. That’s why I like to volunteer in an orphanage.
Yo mama so stupid, when she was in court and the judge said, "Order, order," she said, "Pizza."
Roses are red, balls are round, skirts are up, panties are down, belly to belly, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in.
What stresses a baby strawberry out?
When its mom is in a jam.
When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.
My mind was blown when I saw all the people waving at me.
-JFK
Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the movies, she sneaks candy in her fat rolls.
Yo momma so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down!
What do you get when you cross a deer and a pickle?
A dildo.
When Bob got on that sled, I don't know how he went so smoothly, but that is the invention of bobsled peoples.
And then Mark came in.
When Helen Keller drives a car, people call her Asian.