Mike

Mike jokes

Drinking problem

    • Two men are sitting at a coffee table.

    Mike: "I think I might have a drinking problem."

    Joe: "Why do you say that?"

    Mike: "Well, last week I got so drunk I blew chunks."

    Joe: "That's nothing to be ashamed of; we all drink a little too much sometimes."

    Mike: "No, you don't understand. Chunks is my dog's name."

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    • Mike memes

    Child

    • Mary: If you born pikin (child) inside shop, wetin you go call that pikin (child)?

    Mike: The pikin (child) go bear Bishop.

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    • Name

    • Mike Oxlong: What's deez, Mike?

    Mike Oxsmall: I dunno. What is deez?

    Mike Oxlong: DEEZ NUTS! HA, GOT 'EM!

    Job

    • So you get a new job, and here's something about this guy named Mike.

    The next day you go into the office and Mike is sitting next to you, with unicorns and rainbows and stuff. Then, a co-worker comes up and says, "No one told you Mike was gonna be this GGGAAAAYYYYY *clap clap clap clap*."

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    • Fight

    • Who would win in a fight, in a boxing ring? Mike Tyson or Helen Keller with a Tommy gun?

    Mike Tyson. Helen Keller never heard the bell.

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    • Day

    • One day Nathan came in ten minutes late to Mr. Jones's class. Mr. Jones asked him, "Nathan, what do you have to say for yourself?" Nathan says, "Please sir, I was on top of Cherry Hill." Then Dave came in a further ten minutes late to Mr. Jones's class. Mr. Jones asked him, "Dave, what do you have to say for yourself?" Dave says, "Please sir, I was on top of Cherry Hill." Then Mike came in a further ten minutes late to Mr. Jones's class. Mr. Jones asked him, "Mike, what do you have to say for yourself?" Mike says, "Please sir, I was on top of Cherry Hill." Then five minutes later a new girl walked in to Mr. Jones's lesson. Mr. Jones is at the end of his tether now and says, "Who are you and why are you late?" The new girl says, "Sir, I'm called Cherry Hill."

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