When jokes

October 1, 2017 is when the Mandalay Bay became the Mandalay spray. Thank Steve for that.

When creating the world, Jesus made the water salty. A person comes up to the water, drinks it, and says: "Why are you so salty?"

You are so fat that when you jump into the pool, everyone gets out.

The last time your hairline connected was when George Washington was born.

Yo mama so dumb, when her computer was asking for cookies, she grabbed a cookie, smashed it onto the screen, and broke the computer.

What do you get when you mix LSD and birth control? A trip without kids.

What does it mean when there is a man in your bed, gasping for breath and saying your name?

It just means that you didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

Your mom disrespected your dad when he saw your face.

You're so fat that when Thanos snapped his finger, you broke the correction.

Yo mama's so fat, when she wants to take a bath, they need to make more H2O.

You're so fat when you told your mum and dad, even they laughed!

I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.

And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."

Yo mama so fat that when she fell on the concrete, nobody laughed, but the concrete cracked up.

Yo mama so fat that when she sits, she makes a 7.4 earthquake.

When your mum went to the UK and wore a yellow jacket, everyone started yelling "Taxi! Taxi!"

Why do orphans like cows?

Because when they leave, they bring back the milk.

When you're in the World Trade Center and you connect to airplane wifi.

When you're in the World Trade Center and you connect to airplane wifi.

What do you get when you mix a cow with an earthquake??

Milkshake.

When you let the school shooter borrow your pen so he doesn't kill you.