When jokes
My girlfriend passed away recently.
At the funeral, everyone was shocked about it.
Still, even when dead, she is the best shag I've ever known.
What do you call the White House when a woman becomes President? A stable.
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 1: LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid's sketchers light up.
DISLIKE: When the school shooter finds you and you think you're gonna die, but he remembers the time you gave him a pen. 🖌
Vote for the better joke!
When my dad once went to the Virgin Islands, now it's just called the Islands.
Me and Jesus are really close; he even turns the light on for me when I go pee in the middle of the night. Well, that is what I thought until the fridge was wet.
Memes
Fr tho
What did the terrorist do when his kidneys failed?
Dial-ISIS!
What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?
One stops sucking when you slap it.
What is it called when someone is in a wheelchair and in a fire?
Hot Wheels...
What is soccer like when you lose your soccer ball?
Orphan: "My Parents."
When I was a little boy, I had this dream. I was eating a giant marshmallow.
When I woke, I was being sexually abused.
When you look in the mirror, the mirror cracks.
What do you call James Bond when he’s taking a bath?
Bubble 07.
When I finished high school, I wanted to take my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle, but my mom said no.
See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was eighteen, and I could just have his motorcycle.
Mom, shut up. Me? I don't shut up, I grow up. When I look at you, I throw up.
When someone said to an orphan, "My boyfriend ghosted me," the orphan says back, "Don't worry, my parents ghosted me!" 🤣
Why do I look nervous when I enter the church? Is it just because I'm the only one with the bomb?
When someone calls you gay, say:
"I'm straight, straighter than your hairline!"
I cried when Dad cut onions. Onions was such a good dog.
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent!
Yo mama so ugly... when she went to the haunted house... she came out... WITH A JOB APPLICATION!