When jokes
I don't think my girlfriend likes it when I take my schizophrenia meds because she always goes away when I take them.
Your mum is so fat, when I was driving I had to swerve to avoid [her]. By the time I had finished, I had ran out of gas.
Man, my brother has a tight, buttered butthole. The veins in my cock throb when he comes over!
Yo mama is so fat, when she's walking down the street, there are cracks all over the sidewalk.
When I get naked in the shower, it gets turned on.
Yo mama so fat, when she sat on the roof of a Walmart, it lowered the prices.
When I throw a dodge ball at a person taller than me, it's always a nut shot.
My kid runs in today to tell me that he found a floating cow, but when he got me to come and see, all I saw was a piñata with a tail and white spots. Such a stupid child. So after that I gave him a nice refreshing drink from the toilet and a few of those chocolate sprinkles. (: I'm such a good parent...
What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
Time to get a new fence!
Once a bird went to search for food. Then suddenly he saw grain on a road. When he saw a bullock cart, he said, "That's too far away." Then the bullock immediately came, and the king bird came, and the deceitful bird said, "Sorry, Majesty, I was wrong to eat this on the road." And then he died, and the king bird goes back and tells everybody about it.
What is it called when a bull lies about other bulls?
Bullying.
Me and Jesus are really close; he even turns the light on for me when I go pee in the middle of the night. Well, that is what I thought until the fridge was wet.
When your grandma says she's rusty but still manages to teach you.
What do you get when you cross a redneck and another redneck? Incest.
When that one night stand says she has AIDS but you laugh, "I choose D!"
She says...wait what?? I have all of the above! XD
You're so brilliant and bright that the Sun wears sunglasses when you're near!
What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo!
How are a gay guy and a refrigerator different?
When you pull the meat out of the refrigerator, it doesn’t fart.
When a baby was born to a slave, did the slave owners hang a "Bred in Captivity" sign above the crib?
Black humor is when you ask water to African people.