When jokes
When you're having a normal day at school, but then...
"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks"
Why do pirates say, "Argh my Hardees?"
Because that's how you tell when they have the hards.
I was fuming when I lost my job as a window cleaner, like who built the Twin Towers anyway?
When you turn 100, you get a letter from the Queen. When you turn 16, you get a DM from Prince Andrew.
When you go to a baseball game and they say, "Heads up!" and you put your head up, and the ball hits you in the head.
Joe mama's so hairy when she went to the movie theater, the people thought she was Chewbacca!
Yo mama so fat, that when she fell I didn’t laugh, but damn that sidewalk cracked up. 👋
What do you get when you mix a 737 and 767?
A 797.
You're so fat, when you step on a scale it says, "To be continued."
Why do midgets giggle when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
Was drinking in a bar with this girl when I suddenly blacked out. The next morning I received a letter saying they are processing my child benefits application, dafaq? I never had kids.
When a person yells, just laugh and remember that they can’t hurt what’s already dead.
Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
'Cause they don't got balls to scratch.
What do you call Darth Vader when he dies?
A black alien.
My family is lucky I was born so smart. Every time my Dad is struggling at work, he always turns to me when he needs to get ahead.
What did the bowler say when the balls were on the lane and the pin? They said, "Strike!" 😂😂😂😂
What is it called when someone is a wheel chair and in a fire?
Answer: Hot wheels...
Teachers: Whenever there’s a school shooting, hide under the desk.
Students: Hiding under desk.
Shooter: Well, no one’s in here!
What do you call it when two Mexicans fight?
Juan on Juan.
When the C.I.A. raided Osama Bin Laden’s house, they found Steam on his computer. This means he was a gamer. He raged a little too hard and went for New York.