When jokes

Yo mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, "To Be Continued."

What do you get when you mix a 737 and 767?

A 797.

Why do midgets giggle when they run?

Because the grass tickles their balls.

Was drinking in a bar with this girl when I suddenly blacked out. The next morning I received a letter saying they are processing my child benefits application, dafaq? I never had kids.

When an orphan takes a selfie, is that their family photo?

Sometimes when I think I'm ugly, I just think of my sister and it makes me feel better.

What did the koala do when he was too educated?

He ran away from koalapidia.

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?

Answer: Elephino.

Shorts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin. When it's sniff, stick it in. It goes in dry and comes out wet, And the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag.

It's not what you think it is. It's a Lipton tea bag.

Get your mind together!

Hey, I’m not an alcoholic! I only drink 2 times a year. When it’s my Birthday, and when it’s not...

When an orphan takes a selfie, is that its family photo?

Yo mama's so fat, when she sits on a dollar, four quarters pop out.

So I left my mom with my baby, and I was terrified when I came back; the wheelchair was in the water.

What happens when a depressed kid try’s to high-five a tree?

The tree leaves them hanging.

What does the blind man say when walking past the fish market?

“Good evening, ladies.”

How do you know when your vegetables are completely cooked?

The wheelchair rises to the top.

Yo mama is so fat that when she sits on the internet, it will take a day to send!

The only time that cows will make noise is when they are in the moooo-d.

When the teacher dismissed the class to go home,

The orphan asked, "Where do I go?"

The teacher replied, "Home."

The orphan said, "Catch me on the streets then!"

Why do midgets laugh when they run?

Because the grass is tickling their ballsacks!