When jokes
You’re so fat that when you sit on the toilet, it says, “A B C D E F G, get your butt off of me!”
You're so poor that when you walked into an elevator, you thought it was a mobile home.
Yo mama so fat, when she walked past the TV, I missed three episodes.
Your momma is so old, when she went to the antique store, they wouldn't let her leave.
When I was going downstairs, Sum Ting Wong fell, and doctors say Sum Ting Wong happened.
They say we have a primal sense, that we can just feel when someone is watching us.
It’s been a few weeks, and it's clear that you do not have that sense.
Once when I was 6, I had a massive crush on a girl in my grade. She liked me too, and we kissed under a tree.
Next day, same spot, but now she's pregnant. That stupid dad stole my girl!
When I die, I’ll die in a trash can.
Yo mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, "To Be Continued."
What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
Nothing, because fish can't talk.
Your mom is so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mom to move out of the way.
What do you call it when a man gets high in Panera Bread?
Panera sped.
What did the diver say when he was trapped in seaweed?
- Kelp!
What does a stick say when it falls down? "Wood you help me up?"
What's the difference between a road bump and children crossing the road?
A road bump will make you slow down when you drive over it.
What do you say when you wake up to the police trying to arrest you?
“C'mon, did ya really think I’d resist arrest?”
When you get suspended from school for giving the deaf kid AirPods for his birthday.
Women be like men should pay for first dates, then get mad when you do...
When you're having a normal day at school, but then...
"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks"
Why do pirates say, "Argh my Hardees?"
Because that's how you tell when they have the hards.