When jokes
What is the most awkward moment when Helen Keller is playing pin the tail on the donkey?
Her friends aren’t sure whether to blindfold her.
What does a cop say when they shoot ginger?
"Orange is the new black."
What do you do when you finish a magazine in the hospital?
Reload and keep firing!
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
You pull the pin and throw it back!
What is the difference between Kanye and Hitler?
Hitler knew when his career was over.
Memes
I was at a bar. The girl said, "Sex, sex, free sex tonight," when she really said, "663629."
As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."
Yo mama so short that when she tried to sniff meth, she couldn’t get high.
What do you get when you die in Undertale and go to Temmie Village?
DeterMIENATION
What did the cannibal say when his friend fell on the floor?
"5 second rule!"
What’s the difference between a feminist and a suicidal vest?
A suicidal vest actually works when triggered.
Sex is like pizza.
When it’s hot, it’s great.
When it’s cold, it’s still pretty good.
What do you call it when you choose Panera Bread over something else?
Panera instead.
Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.
For instance, when you push them down the stairs.
What is the difference between a broom and a mop?
It’s hard to beat my girlfriend when she’s holding the mop.
What was the comment that Vice President Harris said in the United States Senate when a blue dog democrat in the United States Senate called Vice President Harris a bitch?
Kibbles 'N Bits!! Kibbles 'N Bits!! I is going to get me some Kibbles 'N Bits!!
Your dad is so fat that when he walks past the TV, I miss three episodes of South Park.
What do you call it when a gay guy eats Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
Why do blonde prostitutes prefer blowjobs?
They hate it when you hand it to them.
I hate it when people say age is only a number. Age is clearly a word.