When jokes

When you see a kid yelling and you wanna leave :(((((((

Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.

Why? You ask.

Because it only takes one charge to bring it back to life.

When the class plays hangman, the emos get inspired!

Your forehead is so big when you walk by I can't see what's in front of me.

When a wheelchair kid bends over, wheelchair kid goes “ohhahahhahhahahahahal!”

Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies. (This does not apply to me. It's a joke.)

Girl, you are so ugly that when you look in the mirror, it shatters, more than your relationship.

Yo mama so fat, when she went on the elevator, it went down.

You are so fat that when you wear a yellow raincoat, a running person behind you shouted, "Taxi!"

Guess what you get when you cross a dark side and your king?

What do you call it when a guy named Fred enters Panera Bread?

Panera Fred.

What did the poo say when it fell out of your bum?

"Your anus looks like my mum's bedsheet which is smelly and covered in poo."

I also just wanted to add that a Goonie's anus looks like my nan's mouth.

My wife is pregnant, but when we get to the doctors, something happened...

What happened?

Answer: The husband is pregnant too, with someone else’s baby, not the wife’s baby, but the wife is pregnant with his baby.

When you know you have a gay friend, but you find out that they like you!

I don't understand why people hate it when they hear a dad joke. They are actually pretty funny, and I will show you Y. (shows a picture of the letter Y)

Q: What's the difference between a prison and a concentration camp?

A: At least you don't die when you shower.

What did the fat guy say when he fell off the ladder? "Catch me!"

Your hairline is so bad, when people see the back of your head they say "nice beard!"

Are you a ghost train? Because I am going to scream when I ride you.

What gets hard when tugged and fits perfectly in between boobs... A seatbelt.