When jokes
What did God say when he made the first woman?
"Where is your dick at?"
How do you know when a fat person stops eating? You read about it in the obituary.
What do you call it when a gay guy farts?
An abortion.
What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?
"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"
Yo mama so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked her to move out the way.
Memes
When Helen Keller tries singing the national anthem at the Super Bowl,
Aaaaaaaaaa Aaaaaaaaaa Aaaaaaaaaa.
My daughter has been writing letters asking Satan for gifts. Imagine my shock when I realized she has dyslexia.
Yo mama so fat when she sits down, she sits next to everyone!
Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.
I told the ugly friend in my friend group that when they daydream, they shouldn't picture themselves because it will just ruin it.
When you're born on 4/20/69...
Your hairline is so bad when you need a role model who has been having a tough life, you go to your barber.
What did they call Hitler when he swam?
Adolfin.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she looked in the mirror, it cracked.
Yo mama is so fat, when she wore yellow, the kids thought they missed the bus.
Your momma so ugly, when the Kool-Aid man burst in the door, he said, "Oh no!"
Yo mama is so old that when she was in history class as a kid, all they learned about was themselves!
Q: What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A: A red-headed bitch with a yeast infection.
When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”
What did the Indian say when he bumped into someone else?
"Sari."