When jokes

If a fat person were to go on a flying car, it will just be at the ground. When they exit, it will just fly up.

What happens when a depressed kid tries to give a tree a high five?

The tree leaves him hanging :)

I get jealous when my phone dies.

This year I'm going to name my Christmas tree Amy Winehouse, because when it dies it will leave needles all over the living room.

Guess what you get when you cross a dark side and your king?

Why are people suspicious when a priest yells "Attention Kmart shoppers"?

Boy's pants are half off.

When you see a kid yelling and you wanna leave :(((((((

My sister told me only onions make you cry, so I always hit her back when she hit me, but I hit her with a shoe only to catch her cry.

When the school shooter enters the classroom and it's the quiet kid's dad.

The pterodactyl went in my bathroom and peed.

When I was in the shower, I couldn't hear it. Why? Because the "p" is silent.

What does the cow say when it's going on holiday? - MOOOOOYORK.

Kids when they meet a kid out of home alone be like: “At least your mom came back!”

I was taking my dog on a long walk when I heard a loud scream. I ran towards the sound. There I found Penaldo sinking in a pit of mud. I was trying to help him out when my dog said, "Leave him, he's been in the mud for years." I walked away shocked but not surprised.

Pokemon Jokes!

What do you do when your Loudred evolves?

Buy more earplugs!

What do you give a pig when it has a rash?

Oinkment.

What do you call California when it’s having a wildfire? Completely normal.

I wasn't close to my dad when he died.

Which was good, he died to a landmine.

Your momma is so dumb that when they said it was chilly outside, she came outside with a bowl.

Yo mama so fat, when she went swimming, they found water on Mars!

What happened when the man died? Yes.