When jokes
Q: What does your Mama and a slinky have in common?
A: They aren't much to look at, but you can't help cracking a smile when you see it tumbling down the stairs.
Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the movies, she sits next to everyone.
What does a depressed person say when they're happy?
"..."
Where does a suicide bomber go when he dies?
Everywhere.
Why don't they put petals on wheelchairs so when our arms get tired, we just use our legs?
Women: Can I have your number?
Jesus: No.
Women: Why? Are you scared?
Jesus: No. Just when you wanna talk, just pray.
You are what happens when women drink during pregnancy.
When the US Army found Chinese soldiers selling secrets to China, they said, "Looks like we have some chinks in our armor."
What did the comedian say when he walked into a bank?
"This is a stand-up."
Yo mama is so ugly, when I took a picture of her, my phone screen cracked.
My young son saw Trump on TV. He asked, "Why is the man on TV painted orange?" I replied, "Son, when Russia pays that much for equipment, they don't want it to rust."
Roses are red, But grass is greener, When I think of you, I play with my wiener.
when is it normal to freeze before being raped?
when a policeman rapes you.
Yo momma so dumb, when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon.
Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.
For instance, when you push them down the stairs.
What do you get when you cross a penis with a potato?
A dictator.
Where do you go when Steve Hawkins dies?
Microsoft.
A hired gun gets on a private plane to his next contract. Halfway through the trip, he notices the plane rapidly losing altitude. So he opens that back of the plane and starts tossing out everything he doesn't need: grenades, guns, ammo—unless it was bolted down, it went out. He stopped throwing things out when the plane started to regain altitude.
When the plane lands, he sees some kids giggling on the side of the road. "What's so funny?" he asks.
"Daddy farted and the house blew up," said a singed little boy.
Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
'Cause they don't got balls to scratch.
The only hood I like is pointy and white.
That's why I can't trust people when I don't see their face at night.