When jokes
What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a parakeet?
Shredded tweet!
One day I went to smoke weed with some Mexicans, but they ran away when I asked if they had papers.
I wish that when Mario dies to some random object, I died too.
What do you call a stoner when horny?
A weed whacker!
Why do they call them apartments when they are together?
What did the mouse 🐭 say when his friend broke their teeth?
Hard cheese! 🧀😂
When you say to your friend, "I've got your back," then at his funeral you see in his coffin he's missing his middle piece.
What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?
Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.
What does the blind man say when he walks past the fish market?
"Hello, ladies!"
What’s the difference between a woman and a mosquito?
A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.
New teacher: "I was an orphan when I was young."
Student: "But!"
Teacher: "Is something missing?"
Student: "Your parents!"
Did you hear about the lesbians who are suing their contractor?
He used nails when they wanted tongue and groove.
When your teenager asks for personal space and you remind her that she came out of your personal space.
Yo mama so fat that when she tried to get on the train, it said, "Weight limit passed, everyone get off!"
What do you get when you dip a duck in blue paint?
A very pissed duck.
When the North Tower saw the South Tower collapse, he would say, "I'm still standing."
Yo mama so fat, when she went on the weighing scale, it said, "To be continued."
When life gives you melons, You’re probably dyslexic.
You know when people say a joke about living?
That's because we are all living a joke.
Joe mama so fat when she got sturdy, she tripped on her shoelaces, fell on her face, and fell down 2 floors.