When jokes
You're so ugly that when you were born, your mother asked, "How does my little treasure look?", and the doctor replied, "I think we should bury it immediately."
What happened when the Japanese guy offered Logan Paul a high five?
He left him hanging.
Your mama so fat when she stepped on a scale it said, "Ma'am, take the bowling ball off of the scale!"
What’s big, pink, long and makes my 12 year old girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth?
Her miscarriage.
I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was 5.
Jesus will be history when I realize he's behind me.
What did Adam say when he saw Eve?
Answer: "Woman!"
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, "Bartender, how much do I owe you?"
The bartender replies, "For you, neutron, no charge."
What did the mouse 🐭 say when his friend broke their teeth?
Hard cheese! 🧀😂
When you say to your friend, "I've got your back," then at his funeral you see in his coffin he's missing his middle piece.
What do crows use when they get a phone?
A "CAWing" card!
When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
When you were born, you were so ugly that the doctors slapped your parents!
Your mama is so fat that when she sat down on the couch for a family picture, it was just her.
Why do orphans become criminals when they grow up? Because they want to be wanted.
How do you know when it's bedtime in the Netherlands?
When the big hand touches the little hand.
Knock knock. Who's there? Artichokes. Artichokes who? Artichokes when he eats too fast.
My balls are high, just like the towers, but when something impales them, they begin to sag.
When they said Titanic was "unsinkable," then they said, "The World Trade Centers was uncollapsible."
What did Jesus say when they removed the nails from his hands?
"Feet! Feet!"