When jokes
When I feel depressed, I like to cut myself another piece of cake.
Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"
The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."
You're so ugly that when you were born, your mother asked, "How does my little treasure look?", and the doctor replied, "I think we should bury it immediately."
9/11 isn't something we should joke about. Some people can remember where they were when they found out. I'll never forget where I was when I found out.
It was 9:37, September 10th, 2001. I was in a cave in Iraq when my friend Mohammad told me.
Joe mama so fat when she got sturdy, she tripped on her shoelaces, fell on her face, and fell down 2 floors.
When you tell an orphan, "I did your mom in your home," and they start crying.
Me: You f&*k up.
The class: Oh sh!&
We all know yo homie bout to hop in a fight when:
1. He staring mighty hard at y'all.
2. When your friend know you gon get your ass beat.
3. When your friend say he not gon jump in (you know he lying).
What’s big, pink, long and makes my 12 year old girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth?
Her miscarriage.
Ok, so I have a joke for you, go look in the mirror and when you realize, come back to me and tell me.
Yo momma's so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.
Yo mama so fat, when she went on the weighing scale, it said, "To be continued."
Yo mama so ugly, that when Santa came down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho- HOLY SHIT!"
What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay person...
It don't moan when u put milk inside.
You know when people say a joke about living?
That's because we are all living a joke.
When life gives you melons, You’re probably dyslexic.
Yoo! I found a $100 bill, found a child who said they lost their $100 bill. Gave them $25.
When God gives you glory, you give it back.
So I saw a bag full of children near a dumpster. I guess we know where the orphans are when the parents didn’t want them.
Wouldn’t want to hope a Catholic priest comes along, otherwise the priest will have new sex toys.
I was at school when I remembered I forgot my necklace, then I screamed out, "Shit, I forgot Grandpa!"
Your mama so fat when she stepped on a scale it said, "Ma'am, take the bowling ball off of the scale!"
What happened when the Japanese guy offered Logan Paul a high five?
He left him hanging.