A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.
Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"
The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."
What's the opposite of an exorcism?
When Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child...
What do iPhones and the Titanic have in common?
There's no Jack!
My mom calls me.
Me: WHAT MOM?
No answer.
Me: WHAT?
What is a fish with no eyes?
A fsh!!!!!
Q: What's the difference between a folk singer and a 14" pizza?
A: The pizza can support a family of four.
What's got 9 arms and sucks?
Def Leppard.
What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?
A good start :)
What's a car's favorite place to hang out?
A CARnival!
What did the vegetable say to the other before the fight?
Time to beet your maker.
What did Connor Lys Clark say to Karl Kassulke? "I love bridges!"
What's worse than finding one dead baby in a bin? Finding one dead baby in five bins.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
What was the first man made out of? Adams! (Atoms)
What is the thirstiest ocean in the world?
The Gulf of Mexico lol!
What do you call a hill with cows on it?
A Moo-ntain.
What is 50 Cent's least favorite store?
The dollar store.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite toy as a child?
Hot Wheels.
What is blue and wiggling on my floor?
A baby in a bag.
What's a queen's favorite drink? Royal-tea!
