Disney

Disney Jokes

Cancer

Disney just released a new film about a poor kid with cancer. It’s called Finding Chemo.

Sex

Things you say before sex, Disney addition:

"Have you seen my Mouseketool? Oh, Toodles!"

Kidnapper

What do kidnappers and Mickey Mouse have in common? They say, "Come inside, it’s fun inside."

Cinderella

Why did Cinderella get kicked out of Disneyland?

Because she sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie, bastard, lie!"

Movie

It has been rumored that Disney is developing a movie based on suicide. The title?

Finding Emo.

Difference

What’s the difference between Disney+ and P*rnhub?

Disney+ wants you to hate your stepmother.

Hairline

When Elsa said, "Let it go," you took it too seriously and let go of your hairline.

Contract

ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG

Give me freedom. Give me fire. Give me contract, Or I retire.

Jog all day, Out of UCL now. FC Barcelona, I need you now.

Villarreal defenders, They surround me. Big submarines, All around me.

I get upset. Call my agent. I want money. I’m impatient.

Viagra

What do Viagra and Disneyland have in common?

They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two-minute ride.

Dwarf

Bro, you can't talk; you look like the dwarf from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

Orphanage

Mom: Kid, bring your toys and clothing to the car. We're going to Disney Land.

Kid: Ok.

*Bring kid to the orphanage*.

Pooh

Tigger was playing hide & seek, so he looked in the toilet, but all he found was Pooh.

Statue

Today, my family visited Disneyland. When we got to the hall of fame, I was shocked to find a statue of the BielefeldMan.

The tour guide said, "That’s Lewandisney. He owns the biggest collection of Disney TAP-INS and is a Mickey Mouse clubhouse member." Well done Lewandisney!