Disney

Disney jokes

Cancer

  • Disney just released a new film about a poor kid with cancer. It’s called Finding Chemo.

  • 1
  • Sex

  • Things you say before sex, Disney addition:

    "Have you seen my Mouseketool? Oh, Toodles!"

    Cinderella

  • Why did Cinderella get kicked out of Disneyland?

    Because she sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie, bastard, lie!"

  • 4
  • Kidnapper

  • What do kidnappers and Mickey Mouse have in common? They say, "Come inside, it’s fun inside."

  • 0
  • Contract

  • ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG

    Give me freedom. Give me fire. Give me contract, Or I retire.

    Jog all day, Out of UCL now. FC Barcelona, I need you now.

    Villarreal defenders, They surround me. Big submarines, All around me.

    I get upset. Call my agent. I want money. I’m impatient.

  • 1
  • Viagra

  • What do Viagra and Disneyland have in common?

    They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two-minute ride.

  • 1
  • Orphanage

  • Mom: Kid, bring your toys and clothing to the car. We're going to Disney Land.

    Kid: Ok.

    *Bring kid to the orphanage*.