Disney jokes
Disney just released a new film about a poor kid with cancer. It’s called Finding Chemo.
What did Cinderella say when she sat on Pinocchio? "Lie to me."
What did Snow White say when she sat on Pinocchio? "Lie to me."
What Disney movie does the church make little girls watch?
Snow White and the Seven Deadly Sins.
Things you say before sex, Disney addition:
"Have you seen my Mouseketool? Oh, Toodles!"
Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?
To find Pluto.
Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.
Why did Cinderella get kicked out of Disneyland?
Because she sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie, bastard, lie!"
What do kidnappers and Mickey Mouse have in common? They say, "Come inside, it’s fun inside."
It has been rumored that Disney is developing a movie based on suicide. The title?
Finding Emo.
What’s the difference between Disney+ and P*rnhub?
Disney+ wants you to hate your stepmother.
When Elsa said, "Let it go," you took it too seriously and let go of your hairline.
How do you know cat's don't always land on their feet?
Mufasa.
Why can Elsa hold a balloon? She will "Let It Go"!
What do Viagra and Disneyland have in common?
They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two-minute ride.
ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG
Give me freedom. Give me fire. Give me contract, Or I retire.
Jog all day, Out of UCL now. FC Barcelona, I need you now.
Villarreal defenders, They surround me. Big submarines, All around me.
I get upset. Call my agent. I want money. I’m impatient.
Bro, you can't talk; you look like the dwarf from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
Mom: Kid, bring your toys and clothing to the car. We're going to Disney Land.
Kid: Ok.
*Bring kid to the orphanage*.
Who is Bill Cosby’s favorite Disney princess?
Sleeping Beauty.
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she'll let it go!