Whats jokes

What does Michael Jackson say when it gets hot?

He-he-eat!

What's the difference between vitiligo and plastic surgery?

Vitiligo doesn't alter facial features.

What do you call a cow with horns? A horny cow.

What do you call a rapper who's also a magician?

MC Presto.

What do you call a rapper who LOVES to cook?

Lil' Spice

What's the difference between me and my mate...

I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.

What's black and eats Kitty?

Serval cancer.

Q: What's the difference between Terri Schiavo and a tomato?

A: A tomato isn't a vegetable.

Q. What do a one-story house and an Alzheimer's victim have in common? A. Nothing going on upstairs.

What do you call a man wearing a rug on his head? Matt.

What do women and a Happy Meal have in common?

They both come with a toy.

What did Michael Jackson say when dinner was ready? Ea-ea-eat.

What do you call a rapper who becomes a chef?

A LYRICAL COOK!

What do you call a rapper with a cold?

Lil Sneezy.

What did a man say to his boy?

You are my son.

What’s the worst part about eating vegetables? Putting them back in the wheelchair.

I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.

Brrr, it's fucking cold outside, aye? What do you guys want for Christmas? A sweet video game? Maybe a cool action figure? Oh, how about the latest phone!

Who me? Oh, I guess... I wish snow could melt as fast as the snowflakes that downvote good jokes! Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!

Angela: Kris, I just met the nicest, sweetest guy ever.

Kristie: Who is he and what is his name?

Angela: His name is Kevin.

Kristie: Kevin? I remember him. He said he had to go to Italy for a meeting, never seen him after that. What the hell is Kevin doing here?

Angela: I don't know.

I was in class doing sex education. We were learning about sexual stereotypes.

My teacher turns to the class and asks, "If anyone could tell him what a sexual stereotype was?"

So I raised my hand and said, "Asians have small penis." He looked at me and said, "Very good, but I was looking for a definition."