Weather jokes
You're so short you could be drowned by heavy rains.
I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday. That takes the number of girls I've made wet this year to -1.
The inventor of the umbrella was just going to call it "brella," but he hesitated.
Q: What do a blond girl and a tornado have in common? A: There's a lot of blowing and sucking, then you lose your house.
What did the British soldiers say while in the trenches? "Damn, it's windy out here!"
I had an uncle who was a conductor. He wasn’t a symphony conductor, nor was he a street car conductor, nor was he a train conductor. He was struck by lightning.
"I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying."
- Charlie Chaplin
What happened to the guy who tried to catch fog?
He mist.
Your momma is so stupid, when someone said it’s chilly outside, she brought a spoon and bowl.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?
Snow use, you wouldn't get it.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replied, "I see millions of stars." "What does that tell you?" Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets." "Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo." "Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three." "Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant." "Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow." "What does it tell you, Holmes?" Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!"
Why don’t mountains catch colds?
They wear snow caps.
How'd the skeleton know it was going to rain? He looked at the weather forecast.
Why did the cloud apply to stormtrooper training school? He mist.
I’m not a weatherman, but I’m expecting a few more inches tonight.
Do you want to hear a cold joke?
Can't. It warmed up.
How did the Skeleton know it was gonna rain?
He read the weather forecast.
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The w.
It was so cold out today believe it or not, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets!
When the school shooter finds you under the table,
"Wonderful weather we're having!"