Weather jokes

Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?

Fo' drizzle.

Someone said to me when it was winter it[’]s time for you to “chill out.” I was like 👁👄👁

Red sky at night, shepherd's delight.

Blue sky at night, day.

I can cry, but I don't have eyes. I can fly, but I don't have wings. Who am I?

A cloud.

What did the pig say when he was in the sun?

I'm bacon.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Snow.

Snow who?

Snow use, you wouldn't get it.

I tried to catch fog yesterday...

Mist.

How'd the skeleton know it was going to rain? He looked at the weather forecast.

What do you find at the end of a rainbow?

Answer: W.

What do you call Mexicans running down a hill?

Sandstorm.

Yo mama's so short, when it rains, she's the last to know!

Mom: Anna, let your younger brother have the sled one half of the time, and you the other half. That way it will all be fair, and I don't have to put up with this crying. I've already got seven others to take care of.

Anna: I do, Mom. I have Fred (younger brother) go up, and I go down!

Mom: Good. Now how 'bout the rest of you go play outside? It's beautiful out there! It's the warmest it's been all year, 45 degrees below 0!

Kids: Wow! I never thought it would warm up! I love Alaska!

Texans: Don't mess with Texas.

*snows 1 inch*

Texans: Please help us, President Biden!

"Gosh, it's raining cats and dogs," said Suzie, looking out of the kitchen window.

"I know," said her mother, "I've just stepped in a poodle!"

Women are like tornadoes.

They scream when they are coming and take your house when they are leaving.

What does Michael Jackson say when it gets hot?

He-he-eat!

Why did the snowman say, "Good day," to the sun?

Because it was afraid to melt away by the sun.

What's the difference between a tornado and a divorce down south?

Nothing. Someone's losing a trailer.

Yesterday I was in a wind storm.

Today my ears hurt. I guess the wind was ear-itating.

What do you call California when it’s having a wildfire? Completely normal.