Wear jokes
My dad: You better wear flip-flops everywhere.
Suicidal son: Goes to crack alley.
If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
Witches do not wear undies. Why? To get a better grip on their broomsticks.
Your mama is so fat, when she farted, the world had to wear gas masks.
Memes
English spelling at its finest.
Why did Diana cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
Do you want to wear my sombrero?
Or is that nacho style?
You're a copycat from Ballarat You smell like a rat, you wear a hat and you are shaped like a baseball bat.
Song by John Rizk
What’s brown, fuzzy, and wears sunglasses?
A coconut on vacation.
When you don't wear earrings for a long time, the hole can close, and it hurts so much when you want to put it back. 🙄🙄 😁😁😁🤣
Bitch: Nice eyebrows.
Me: Yeah, where's yours, motherfucker?
Bitch: (Realizing she shaved them off cause she thought it would look cool)
I saw a man today wearing a t-shirt that said "I'm with stupid."
I told him, "You know, that's not very nice."
He looked at me and said, "I'm with stupid, too."
What's the difference between a piranha and a teenage girl?
The piranha doesn't wear makeup.
1st graders: Ay yo girl, I think you’re beautiful, let’s get married!!
2nd graders: Uhh, don’t tell my mom that we’re dating!! She won’t let me date! Let’s keep this a seeeeecret heeheehee.
3rd graders: Uh, my teacher told me to stay after school because I wrote a poem about you and I’m 9 years old, we have to break up, sweetie.
4th graders: Hey, I think you’re cute!! Wanna date? I don’t think my girlfriend will mind.......
5th graders (they start wearing makeup): Ay girl, your eyelashes are pretty, I like you now, wanna date? Here’s my numberrrrrr.
6th graders: Heyyyyy, I gotta tell you a secret, I got a crush on you!! Don’t tell anyone!! Byeee, ooh, I’ll text you later!
7th graders: We need to make Peyton jealous because she broke up with you!! Wanna date? I mean, you’re not hot, but still, great personalityyyyy, alright, bye now.
8th graders: Hi sweetheart, I got STARRRBUCKKKSSS
Me: UGLY AF AND LITERALLY NO BOYFRIEND.....
Why does my cheating ex-wife wear a colostomy bag?
She lost her ass playing poker...
Why do midgets have to wear a green bright jacket when crossing the road?
Because they will get turned into a pancake even more.
It's not funny, I know.
Updated - Grad 2020 Commencement Groupings.
Updated - Grad 2020 Commencement Schedule.pdf
Dear Grad Parents, Please pass the attached Commencement schedule on to your graduate(s). We ask that students arrive 15 minutes prior to their scheduled time and that they do not arrive early. Staff will greet the students outside the main entrance. Students may wear cap and gowns and/or formal wear. There will be more information to follow in the coming days. Thank you.
(Shared from the "Wolves E-genda" app.)
Girl: Can we visit Grandma this weekend?
Mother: Sure.
Five-year-old: Look mommy! Two people and they're wearing rope necklaces!
My question is, how do fat people fit in tuxedos? Honestly, don’t wear those. Wear your regular clothes. Your belly is just gonna pop out!
Kid: Dad, I want Santa to give me an iPhone.
Indian poor dad: Son, Santa is deaf.
Kid: No, he is not. I saw him on TV yesterday.
Indian poor dad: Oh, actually, I asked him for a new wife. Maybe he is wearing AirPods.
Kid: You are my Santa, daddy.
Indian poor dad: Pull down your pants, son.
Kid: It's not an Apple product.
Indian poor dad: It's a banana.