Wear jokes
As the coronavirus pandemic strengthens...
Trump - "Quick, inject yourselves with bleach!"
Also Trump - "I order everyone in America to wear a face mask except for me!"
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.
As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"
You're so bald, when you wear a turtleneck, you look like one!
What does Cinderella wear to the beach?
Glass slippers.
What do you call a Barbie doll that’s wearing scrubs?
A plastic surgeon. 😷
Memes
Why do brides wear white?
So they match the kitchen appliances.
Are you wearing a diaper? Because your butt looks so saggy.
Why does a golfer wear two pairs of pants?
In case he gets a hole in one!
Which brand of underwear does Thor wear?
Asgard.
What do cheetahs wear to work?
They can't change because cheetahs can't change their spots!
"What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?"
"Sofishticated."
You're so bald, when you wear a turtleneck, you look like roll-on deodorant!
Dude: Hey dude guess who I am?
Viewers: Dora.
Trump: No, I am President Trump.
Viewers: Why are you wearing Dora’s clothes and backpack?
Trump: Today we are going to build a wall.
Viewers: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Why does Batman only wear black?
Because he's emo!
If someone wears black, say, "If you see someone wears black, they always be emo."
What is an owl that wears armor?
An orphan goes up to someone. The guy says, "Where are your parents?"
The orphan says, "Why do you think I'm wearing ripped pyjamas?"
What does a rain cloud wear under her dress?
Thunderwear.
What do lady dogs (bitches) wear to work?
Pant suits.
What do you call a dog wearing a beret?
Smeargle!