Wear jokes

When you wear a big hat and your butt starts to splat diarrhea!

Women be like I don't wear makeup for men.

Then get mad when a man doesn't compliment her in her makeup!

Me people call me emo.

Older cousin: Why?

Because I always have my hood up and wear black cloths and wear black cross earrings.

My wife is so fat! She wears high heels, she strikes oil.

When she sits around the house, she really sits *around* the house. Every time she turns around, it's her birthday.

Your forehead is so big you have to wear a hoodie for the Rock to see your ego because your forehead is so big.

Orphan: Help, I'm lost.

Someone: Wears your parents.

Orphan: >:(

Why did Princess Diana cross the road?

She wasn’t wearing a seat belt.

As you can see here, Jessie is wearing a lot of concealer.

Jessie?

Why doesn't the witch wear panties?

To get a better grip on her broom stick!

What's the worst part about getting old?

Going to pull up the wrinkles in your socks, just to find out you're not wearing socks!

Husband: My wife and I went to the beach today.

Husband: She was wearing a blue wetsuit.

Husband: The second we entered the beach,

Pedestrians: "TSUNAMI! TSUNAMI!"

Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? Idaho, Alaska?

What it actually means: Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? I don’t know. I’ll ask her.

P.S. My dad is a history teacher and he told me to put this in here.

Your hairline goes so far back you have to wear sunscreen.

Two ropes meet. They ask each other, "Why are you wearing a hijab?" The other replies, "I want to go into the water now."

How do rappers stay warm in the winter?

They wear their ice chains.

One time a crow saw a peacock and then wanted to be like a peacock, so he picked up peacock feathers and then wore them.

Then he starts walking and everybody thinks he's strange, and then his friends are not his friends anymore, and then after that he says, "Friends, please be my friends again. I'm sorry, I will be the way I am."

Lesbians and blind women wear the same clothes.

As the coronavirus pandemic strengthens...

Trump - "Quick, inject yourselves with bleach!"

Also Trump - "I order everyone in America to wear a face mask except for me!"

A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.

As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"

What does Cinderella wear to the beach?

Glass slippers.