Wear jokes

Husband: My wife and I went to the beach today.

Husband: She was wearing a blue wetsuit.

Husband: The second we entered the beach,

Pedestrians: "TSUNAMI! TSUNAMI!"

Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? Idaho, Alaska?

What it actually means: Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? I don’t know. I’ll ask her.

P.S. My dad is a history teacher and he told me to put this in here.

My wife is so fat! She wears high heels, she strikes oil.

When she sits around the house, she really sits *around* the house. Every time she turns around, it's her birthday.

Your forehead is so big you have to wear a hoodie for the Rock to see your ego because your forehead is so big.

Orphan: Help, I'm lost.

Someone: Wears your parents.

Orphan: >:(

We forge the chains we wear in life.

My friend is an emo. I asked why he wears black. He said, "Black like my soul." I just walked away.

Why did Princess Diana cross the road?

She wasn’t wearing a seat belt.

Women be like I don't wear makeup for men.

Then get mad when a man doesn't compliment her in her makeup!

Me people call me emo.

Older cousin: Why?

Because I always have my hood up and wear black cloths and wear black cross earrings.

What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?

Kid's.

When you wear a big hat and your butt starts to splat diarrhea!

As you can see here, Jessie is wearing a lot of concealer.

Jessie?

What's the worst part about getting old?

Going to pull up the wrinkles in your socks, just to find out you're not wearing socks!

Why doesn't the witch wear panties?

To get a better grip on her broom stick!

One time a crow saw a peacock and then wanted to be like a peacock, so he picked up peacock feathers and then wore them.

Then he starts walking and everybody thinks he's strange, and then his friends are not his friends anymore, and then after that he says, "Friends, please be my friends again. I'm sorry, I will be the way I am."

Lesbians and blind women wear the same clothes.

As the coronavirus pandemic strengthens...

Trump - "Quick, inject yourselves with bleach!"

Also Trump - "I order everyone in America to wear a face mask except for me!"

A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.

As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"

You're so bald, when you wear a turtleneck, you look like one!