What shoes does a profile wear?
White vans
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"
Other jokes:
1. Why did the ketchup blush? He saw the salad dressing.
2. What did the elephant ask the naked man? How do you breathe out of that thing?
3. How do you make your husband scream during sex? Call him and let him hear it.
4. Why does the mermaid wear seashells? She outgrew her b-shells!
5. How is life like toilet paper? You’re either on a roll or taking shit from someone.
6. What does one boob say to the other boob? If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts.
7. What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? A man will actually search for a golf ball.
8. What did Cinderella do when she arrived at the ball? She gagged.
Why did the rapper wear sunglasses?
To SHADE the HATERS
It's illegal to go onto someone's property, demand money that they might not have while wearing all black, and threaten horrible things if they don't pay.
But when the IRS does it, it's perfectly fine. HMMMMM . . . .
I'm thinking about telling my daughter there's a ghost in the house, atleat then I can wear a bed sheet at night and fuck her without her being suspicious
If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?
Why Did prices Dyana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a sheet belt.
Witches do not wear undies. why? To get better grip on ther broomsticks.
What's the difference between a piranha and a teenage girl?
The piranha doesn't wear makeup.
ur mama is so fat when she farted the world had to wear gas masks
When you don't wear earrings for a long time the hole can close and it hurts so much when you want to put it back 🙄🙄 😁😁😁🤣
What’s brow, fuzzy, and wears sunglasses A coconut on vacation
your a copycat from ballarat you smell like a rat, you wear a hat and you are shaped like a baseball bat.
song by john rizk
why did Diana cross the road because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
Do you want to wear my sombrero...
Or is that nacho style
Bitch: Nice eyes brows
Me: Yeah wears yours motherfucker
Bitch: (Realizing she shaved them off cause she thoughts it would look cool)
A father of five puts on gas mask and a hazard suit, and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked "Dad, what are you wearing?". The father would answer with "A costume for Halloween.". the child asked "can i join?". He said no, for he said it's their last Halloween. *after that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.
Why do midgets have to wear a green bright jacket when crossing the road?
Because they will get turned into a pancake even more
its not funny i know
Why does my cheating ex-wife wear a colostomy bag?
She lost her ass playing poker...
