Weapon jokes
How do you break up blind people in a fight? Scream, "I put my money on the guy with the knife!"
When your friend does a finger-gun and his dad appears behind him and does it too, with the real deal!
Who would win in a fight, in a boxing ring? Mike Tyson or Helen Keller with a Tommy gun?
Mike Tyson. Helen Keller never heard the bell.
How do you punish a blind person?
Hand them a gun and tell them it’s a hairdryer.
A suicidal customer walks into a gun store.
Cashier: Is this your final purchase?
Customer: Actually, yes it is!
Nunchucks!
What’s the difference between a feminist and a suicidal vest?
A suicidal vest actually works when triggered.
What's the rarest gun you can find in Africa? A water gun.
How can you tell a bow n' arrows scared?
He starts to quiver! ;)
Jace: Haha, I won, dude. You suck at Monopoly!
Timmy: Let's play another game. *GUNSHOT* I guess I won!
Jace: *SCREAMS IN PAIN*
Timmy: What? I thought we were playing Chutes and Ladders!
I saw two blind men fighting at the mall. I yelled, "He has a gun!" They both ran.
What does a knife have but not my life...
A point.
▄【デc̷a̷t̷══━一.
Spread the cat gun.
We gotta keep it goin' ▄【デc̷a̷t̷══━一.
Once I almost died. I'll give it another shot out of the gun to finish my job.
What do you call a baby on the battlefield?
Free shield!
I gave a blind kid a gun. I told him it was a hair dryer.
A male unexploded landmine was in love with a female unexploded landmine, and he said to her...
"Hey, baby, we should bang sometime!"
Why do most clips for automatic weapons have 32 bullets?
That's usually how many kids are in a classroom.
Imagine being expelled from school for bringing a weapon to school.
Are you happy to see me, or is that a bomb strapped to your chest and a detonator in your hand?