Weapon jokes
What is white, black, and red and can't fit through a revolving door?
A nun with a spear through her head!
I wish I was a policeman, 'cause then I would actually have a gun to shoot myself with.
Q: What does a microwave and an M1 Garand have in common?
A: They both go “ping” when they’re done.
Dark humor leave if sensitive: Wives are like grenades: pull the ring, and the house is gone.
I threw a boomerang years ago. Now I live in constant fear.
A depressed guy walks into a utensil store and finds a knife, but he didn't stab himself... Part 2 coming out tomorrow.
Why don't a gun and an orphan have anything in common? The gun is actually useful.
What's the difference between an orphan's life and a knife?
A knife has a point.
If I was in a room with Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, Hitler, and my greatest enemy, I would pour out the bullets and beat my enemy with the gun.
When the autistic kid brings a gun to school and thinks it’s a dart gun.
What gun isn’t allowed in Africa?
A water gun.
What do you call an abo with a shotgun?
Sir.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rabid cow.
Rabid cow who?
Hold on, I need to get my gun....
How do you win an argument against an emo kid?
Give him a gun, he'll just shoot himself.
Where did Susie go after the bomb exploded?
Everywhere.
Your dick is like a shotgun, one cock and you're ready to fire.
Why are the best used guns from France?
Because they have never been fired and they have only been dropped once.
Your soul is black. I have 4 guns, little kid. Get in the van before I shoot you!
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair with a gun? RG-XD
Teacher: Your bag is heavy, what's in there?
The quiet kid: AK-47.