Weapon jokes
A robber held up a depressed kid at gun point.
The depressed kid took the gun, and said, "I'll do it myself."
Chuck Norris once stabbed the Terminator with Bruce Lee.
I beat up my twin friends with a plane.
Steps to win a Nerf war:
Step 1. Take out Nerf bullets.
Step 2. Load hollow points.
Step 3. Win!
What do you call gun ammunition made out of human babies?
Project-childs.
(Projectiles)
Hollow Knight Meme
Do you know what's the difference between a knife and a girl's argument?
A knife has a point.
Aboriginals around for 50,000 years invented the spear.
George, when I saw your face, I had to shoot you with a Nerf gun. If you died, wimp.
I gave the blind kid a gun and called it a hair dryer.
A burglar breaks into a weapons engineer's house, hoping to loot the high-tech arsenal. Suddenly, the engineer yells from upstairs, "Hey! Stop right there!"
The burglar, trying to play tough, screams, "Hands up! I know you've got the goods! Open the armory or I'll shoot!"
The engineer, trembling, cries, "Okay, okay! Don't shoot! I'll give you everything, even my latest prototype!"
The burglar, eyes gleaming with greed, demands, "Prove it! Let me see this fancy new gun first!"
The engineer points to a target range. "It's a plasma blaster," he claims. "Go ahead, give it a shot."
The burglar aims at the bullseye, pulls the trigger, and—BANG!—the gun fires directly into his own chest.
As the thief collapses, the engineer cackles, "Surprise! It's not plasma; it's my new 'Reverse-Recoil Special,' specifically designed for uninvited guests!"
What's a lesbian's favorite weapon?
A finger gun.
When the school shooter walks by the emo kid and doesn’t feel his gun anymore.
What's brown and hurts your teeth? A chocolate? No. A baseball bat in my hands.
What do you call a AK-47 that lost 1 point?
An AK-46.
Oompa Loompa Doobity doo, I got a glock and it’s pointing at you.
Spongebob: Easy now, you try first. Get a jar.
Patrick: *picks up nuke*
Spongebob: Patrick, that's a nuke!
Patrick: Yes.
Nuke: *boom*
Africa has every type of gun but one...
A water gun.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair with a gun? RG-XD
Why do I carry pepper spray?
Just in case of as-SAULT.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bum.
Bum who?
Bum holding a pistol!