Weapon jokes
Where did Joe go after getting lost on a minefield? Everywhere.
There's going to be a party at the orphanage tonight. I'm bringing a gun.
Me: Hey, do you want to meet my grandma?
Friend: Yeah, sure.
Me: *pulls out gun*
What's a knife's favorite person?
The victim.
"Knife to meet you all!"
Women are like grenades: you pull the ring and BOOM, the house is gone!
What is your arm's favorite military branch? The army.
I took a special needs child to a shooting range.
Poor bastard had no idea which direction to run in.
When you get caught about to shoot up the school,
*slowly puts AR to chin*
I’m not racist. I just have black guns.
When you steal the weird pet rock, so he pulls out his pet Glock.
What’s the rarest gun to find in Africa?
A water gun...
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair? A TANK!
I heard guns kill people, so I gave up my right to own one.
Then I heard dicks rape people, so I chopped it off.
"Ching chong, drop the bomb!"
Why did the little boy cross the road multiple times?
He stepped on an IED after being mutilated on a chopping block that was on fire with a table saw and multiple gallows which were infested with flaming termites with splotches of blood all over him from his eyes after they were squashed with a brick.
How do you break up blind people in a fight? Scream, "I put my money on the guy with the knife!"
What do LGBTQ+ people use as a weapon in THG (The Hunger Games)?
A rainbow.
When your friend does a finger-gun and his dad appears behind him and does it too, with the real deal!
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
You pull the pin and throw it back!