Weapon jokes

What do a baby and a grenade have in common? They both make loud noises when thrown.

Where did Joe go after getting lost on a minefield? Everywhere.

There's going to be a party at the orphanage tonight. I'm bringing a gun.

What's a knife's favorite person?

The victim.

"Knife to meet you all!"

Bomb.

What did the bomber say to the jet?

"Sorry bro, I gotta bomb."

*WAIT NO-*

When you get caught about to shoot up the school,

*slowly puts AR to chin*

How do you make epileptic kids dance?

Throw a flash bang in their room.

What’s the rarest gun to find in Africa?

A water gun...

What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair? A TANK!

I heard guns kill people, so I gave up my right to own one.

Then I heard dicks rape people, so I chopped it off.

"Ching chong, drop the bomb!"

Why did the little boy cross the road multiple times?

He stepped on an IED after being mutilated on a chopping block that was on fire with a table saw and multiple gallows which were infested with flaming termites with splotches of blood all over him from his eyes after they were squashed with a brick.

I’m not racist. I just have black guns.

When you steal the weird pet rock, so he pulls out his pet Glock.

How do you break up blind people in a fight? Scream, "I put my money on the guy with the knife!"

When your friend does a finger-gun and his dad appears behind him and does it too, with the real deal!

A suicidal customer walks into a gun store.

Cashier: Is this your final purchase?

Customer: Actually, yes it is!

I gave a blind kid a gun. I told him it was a hair dryer.