Weapon jokes
What does a baby and a grenade have in common?
They both make noise after you throw them.
American: I've never shot a gun.
African: That's the first coming from an American!
What is Jesus' favorite gun?
A nail gun.
A 23 year old priest walks into a high school with an automatic weapon. He tells those who believe in God to stand up and leave.
To the children who don't leave, he says, "Do not worry my children, I shall make thou 'hole-y' as well."
He then proceeds to shoot all of the students left.
A teacher is teaching a class algebra. Timmy, you've worked out it is AK, but what is 59 minus 12? Timmy shakes his head, not knowing. The teacher asks, "How about AK 49 minus 2?" Timmy replies with um... The teacher becomes frustrated and yells, "What comes after AK, Timmy!?" The white kid at the back stands, shouts 47, and pulls the trigger.
What does a baby and a grenade have in common?
They both make a noise when you throw them.
What’s the difference between a life and a nuclear bomb?
I don’t have a life.
A hunter shot holes into his favorite book.
When confronted, he said it was the "holey" Bible!
Things to kids:
Dragapult: "Ooh, look! Some ammo."
A Good Parent: "My baby!"
Michael Jackson: (HeeHee)
When you get caught about to shoot up the school,
*slowly puts AR to chin*
What do you call an autistic kid with a minigun?
Special forces.
What did the knife say to the other knife?
"Knife to meet you."
Why do American guns only have 30 rounds?
Because it's the average class size.
America: "WE NEED MORE AMMO!"
Japan: "We are the ammo."
What did the father bullet say to the baby bullet when he killed a bull by hitting it in the eye: "Bull's eye!"
A mirror and a terrorist are the same... Only... a mirror doesn't need a gun to kill.
Drop me in Afghanistan with a Dodge Challenger Super Stock, a Mexican named Jose, a 6 pack of Dr. Pepper, a golden SCAR, a pack of chimichangas, and an M4A1, and I'll have the Taliban saying the Pledge of Allegiance in 4 hours.
"Remember, switching to your pistol is always faster than reloading."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
Why do most clips for automatic weapons have 32 bullets?
That's usually how many kids are in a classroom.
What's the quiet kid's favorite school lunch? Mac-10 and cheese.