Weapon jokes
Why do most clips for automatic weapons have 32 bullets?
That's usually how many kids are in a classroom.
There's this smart way to sneak a calculator into school. I've heard of it. You take the calculator, put it in a gun magazine, put the magazine in the gun, and bring the gun to school!
Jace: Haha, I won, dude. You suck at Monopoly!
Timmy: Let's play another game. *GUNSHOT* I guess I won!
Jace: *SCREAMS IN PAIN*
Timmy: What? I thought we were playing Chutes and Ladders!
How can you tell a bow n' arrows scared?
He starts to quiver! ;)
What is the difference between an ISIS training camp and a school?
Don't ask me, I just fly the drone.
Nunchucks!
Hey, 2nd Amendmenters! Wanna know what gun Jesus used during his time?
What?
A nail gun!
Where did Josh go after getting lost on a minefield? Everywhere.
When the teacher gives me an F on my exam,
but I have an AK-47 in my backpack.
*Is honestly the best policy.*
What do you call a bowling ball that falls from the sky and knocks down all the bowling pins?
An airstrike.
What's the quiet kid's favorite school lunch? Mac-10 and cheese.
What does a Trump supporter use to load his/her AR-15?
A MAGAzine.
Africa has every type of gun but one...
A water gun.
What do you call German weed?
Mustard Gas.
What's a fetus' favorite gun? A micro SMG.
Me: How does this thing work?
ForTnite kid: Oh, you don’t know how to use a pistol? Look, I’ll show you.
ForTnitekid: *shoots foot*
Me: That wasn’t a very good demonstration.
Drop me in Afghanistan with a cigar, a Kobe jersey, a MAC-10, a Lambo Huracan with a bumper delete, and a Toyota Tacoma with an M249 on the back. Then I'll have Afghanistan as the 51st state by midnight.
Playing Russian roulette alone means you're bound to be a winner eventually.
Teacher: What month is it?
Quiet kid: AUG-ust.
Classroom: Visible concern.
Teacher: What comes after C?
Me: Ooh! Ooh! C4!
Teacher: Umm, ok... but still what comes after A?
Me: AK47!!!
Teacher thought: Oh hell na.
Teacher: What comes after X?
Me: Xplosin.
1 second later, bomb goes off. Idk.
I will never forget my mother and father's last words.
"Where the Sam hell did you get a grenade?"