Weapon jokes

I saw two blind men fighting at the mall. I yelled, "He has a gun!" They both ran.

What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?

You pull the pin and throw it back!

Who would win in a fight, in a boxing ring? Mike Tyson or Helen Keller with a Tommy gun?

Mike Tyson. Helen Keller never heard the bell.

What's the rarest gun you can find in Africa? A water gun.

What is the difference between an ISIS training camp and a school?

Don't ask me, I just fly the drone.

Teacher: What comes after C?

Me: Ooh! Ooh! C4!

Teacher: Umm, ok... but still what comes after A?

Me: AK47!!!

Teacher thought: Oh hell na.

Teacher: What comes after X?

Me: Xplosin.

1 second later, bomb goes off. Idk.

What does a Trump supporter use to load his/her AR-15?

A MAGAzine.

What's a fetus' favorite gun? A micro SMG.

Playing Russian roulette alone means you're bound to be a winner eventually.

What's the quiet kid's favorite school lunch? Mac-10 and cheese.

Drop me in Afghanistan with a cigar, a Kobe jersey, a MAC-10, a Lambo Huracan with a bumper delete, and a Toyota Tacoma with an M249 on the back. Then I'll have Afghanistan as the 51st state by midnight.

Teacher: What month is it?

Quiet kid: AUG-ust.

Classroom: Visible concern.

What do you call German weed?

Mustard Gas.

Africa has every type of gun but one...

A water gun.

Me: How does this thing work?

ForTnite kid: Oh, you don’t know how to use a pistol? Look, I’ll show you.

ForTnitekid: *shoots foot*

Me: That wasn’t a very good demonstration.

Where did Josh go after getting lost on a minefield? Everywhere.

What do you call a bowling ball that falls from the sky and knocks down all the bowling pins?

An airstrike.

When the teacher gives me an F on my exam,

but I have an AK-47 in my backpack.

*Is honestly the best policy.*

Hey, 2nd Amendmenters! Wanna know what gun Jesus used during his time?

What?

A nail gun!

I took a special needs child to a shooting range.

Poor bastard had no idea which direction to run in.