Weapon jokes
What’s the difference between a feminist and a suicidal vest?
A suicidal vest actually works when triggered.
How do you punish a blind person?
Hand them a gun and tell them it’s a hairdryer.
I saw two blind men fighting at the mall. I yelled, "He has a gun!" They both ran.
What's the rarest gun you can find in Africa? A water gun.
A suicidal customer walks into a gun store.
Cashier: Is this your final purchase?
Customer: Actually, yes it is!
Memes
What is the difference between an ISIS training camp and a school?
Don't ask me, I just fly the drone.
What do you call a bowling ball that falls from the sky and knocks down all the bowling pins?
An airstrike.
Hey, 2nd Amendmenters! Wanna know what gun Jesus used during his time?
What?
A nail gun!
Teacher: What comes after C?
Me: Ooh! Ooh! C4!
Teacher: Umm, ok... but still what comes after A?
Me: AK47!!!
Teacher thought: Oh hell na.
Teacher: What comes after X?
Me: Xplosin.
1 second later, bomb goes off. Idk.
What's the quiet kid's favorite school lunch? Mac-10 and cheese.
Me: How does this thing work?
ForTnite kid: Oh, you don’t know how to use a pistol? Look, I’ll show you.
ForTnitekid: *shoots foot*
Me: That wasn’t a very good demonstration.
Africa has every type of gun but one...
A water gun.
What does a Trump supporter use to load his/her AR-15?
A MAGAzine.
What did the bomber say to the jet?
"Sorry bro, I gotta bomb."
*WAIT NO-*
What do you call German weed?
Mustard Gas.
What's a fetus' favorite gun? A micro SMG.
Drop me in Afghanistan with a cigar, a Kobe jersey, a MAC-10, a Lambo Huracan with a bumper delete, and a Toyota Tacoma with an M249 on the back. Then I'll have Afghanistan as the 51st state by midnight.
Teacher: What month is it?
Quiet kid: AUG-ust.
Classroom: Visible concern.
Where did Josh go after getting lost on a minefield? Everywhere.
When the teacher gives me an F on my exam,
but I have an AK-47 in my backpack.
*Is honestly the best policy.*