Weapon jokes
What do you call a baby on the battlefield?
Free shield!
What's the rarest gun you can find in Africa? A water gun.
What’s the difference between a feminist and a suicidal vest?
A suicidal vest actually works when triggered.
I gave a blind kid a gun. I told him it was a hair dryer.
A male unexploded landmine was in love with a female unexploded landmine, and he said to her...
"Hey, baby, we should bang sometime!"
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
You pull the pin and throw it back!
Who would win in a fight, in a boxing ring? Mike Tyson or Helen Keller with a Tommy gun?
Mike Tyson. Helen Keller never heard the bell.
What is the difference between an ISIS training camp and a school?
Don't ask me, I just fly the drone.
Africa has every type of gun but one...
A water gun.
What do you call German weed?
Mustard Gas.
Playing Russian roulette alone means you're bound to be a winner eventually.
What's the quiet kid's favorite school lunch? Mac-10 and cheese.
What's a fetus' favorite gun? A micro SMG.
Me: How does this thing work?
ForTnite kid: Oh, you don’t know how to use a pistol? Look, I’ll show you.
ForTnitekid: *shoots foot*
Me: That wasn’t a very good demonstration.
Where did Josh go after getting lost on a minefield? Everywhere.
Hey, 2nd Amendmenters! Wanna know what gun Jesus used during his time?
What?
A nail gun!
Teacher: What comes after C?
Me: Ooh! Ooh! C4!
Teacher: Umm, ok... but still what comes after A?
Me: AK47!!!
Teacher thought: Oh hell na.
Teacher: What comes after X?
Me: Xplosin.
1 second later, bomb goes off. Idk.
When the teacher gives me an F on my exam,
but I have an AK-47 in my backpack.
*Is honestly the best policy.*
What do you call a bowling ball that falls from the sky and knocks down all the bowling pins?
An airstrike.
Teacher: What month is it?
Quiet kid: AUG-ust.
Classroom: Visible concern.