Water jokes
No one wanted to hear my ocean puns, they said they were too fishy.
Yo mama so fat! When she jumps into a pool, NASA found water on Mars!
Three nuns went up to Mother Teresa and said, "Mother Teresa, we would not like to be nuns anymore." Mother Teresa said, "Okay, but first you have to do something unholy." So they leave and come back three days later. The first one says, "Mother Teresa, I did something unholy. I took a little kid's bike." Mother Teresa says, "Okay, drink from the holy water and you are free to go." The second nun walks up, upset, "I did something worse than her. I slept with a married man." The last nun walks up and says, "I did something worse than all of them." Mother Teresa says, "Oh god, oh gosh, what is it?" And the third nun says, "I peed in the holy water."
Three men were in a desert. One man was holding a jug, the 2nd was holding a paper bag, and the last was holding a car door. A man came around and asked the 1st why he had a jug. He said it was his water and if he got thirsty, he would take a drink.
Then he asked the second why do you have a paper bag? The guy said this is my packed lunch, so if I get hungry, I will eat my lunch.
Then he asked the last man why he has a car door and he said if he got hot he would roll down the window.
Why is there more water than water, because water is water.
Theres my problem
Adam and Eve were sitting on the beach one day, and Eve says to Adam, "Let's go for a swim." Adam replies, "I'm not in the mood."
She says, "Okay, I will go by myself." She puts her toes in the water and splashes around and says, "The water is beautiful, come in!" Adam replies, "Na, still not in the mood."
Eve wades into the water until she gets to her waist. Adam jumps up and yells at Eve standing waist deep and says, "Oh no, now all the fish are gonna smell like that!"
Why did little Timmy dip the cookie in water?
"Because his dad never brought the milk."
If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep... That’ll give you a reason to get up in the morning.
What did the fish say to the other fish?
"I want my life to be H2O-ver!"
Why did the white girl come back from Africa?
Because there was no water for her to drink. I'm black.
Why is the mermaid so dirty?
Because she is a maid, mer-maid!
How do fish get to school?
By the octobus.
What do mermaids wash their fins with?
Tide.
What do you call people who jump into the Hoover Dam?
Dam fools.
"Look, Ma! I peed in the pool!"
How does a rapper make tea?
He drops some HOT BARS into a cup.
Question: How did the cat cross the river?
Answer: It didn’t, it drowned.
Why are fish easy to measure?
Because they bring their own scales.
A fly is 6 inches above water, and a fish sees it and it leaps out and gets the fly. Then a bear grabs the fish and eats it. Then a hunter shot the bear, and a mouse saw some crackers and then leaped on the cracker and ate it. Then a cat runs down to get the mouse, trips, and falls into the water, and that's the story of how six inches can get a pussy wet.
Why does an emo wish they were a fish?
Because they're underwater.