Water jokes

What is a fish without i's?

Fsh.

"Water exists."

Airport security: "What the fuck did you just say?"

Why are fish smart?

They live in a school.

I'm high and it's very hot.

I need some water, but I don't got none. AHAHA.

Jack and Rose went on a cruise to do it in the water.

Jack seldom wore a condom, and now they have a daughter.

Why is the sea salty? Because it is always blue.

Where do golf players practice?

Near a gulf.

"Look, Ma! I peed in the pool!"

What would the Mandalorian be called if it was made in an aquatic center?

Mandachlorian.

Why did Miss Stephen get divorced? She didn't float, too.

You're so poor that when you drink water from a cup, people flick a coin into it.

Why don’t pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?

They just wash up on shore.

So, a man goes to church and is dipped in water three times by a Priest as he says, "From now on your name is Michael, and you will shed your sins of gambling and alcohol."

Soon after, the man heads home and rushes to the fridge to grab a can of beer. He turns on the sink and dips the beer can in the water three times while saying, "From now on you will be known as Not Alcohol."

John pretended to be a doctor.

Motu came to him. He said, "I lost my hunger."

John brought some samosas for his lunch. Motu ate them. John said, "Your hunger is back!"

Then, Motu said, "I lost my taste."

John said, "Number 1, bring some water." Motu drank it and said, "This is petrol!" John said, "Your taste is back!"

Motu said, "I lost my memory."

John said, "Number 1, bring some medicine." Motu said, "But Number 1 brought water." John said, "Your memory is back!"

What does a glass of water ask a pond?

"Water you doing?"

What does the pond answer?

"Pondering life."

What is the opposite of salt water?

Pepper water.

I don't see why Africans complain about not having water. They have free chocolate milk.

What is a cow's favorite water sport?

Ca-MOO-ing!

Yo Father, don't use the baptism bath. I cleaned my anal plug in there.

What?

The holy water gets all the ass off. Don't mind the white stuff. *clears throat*

What do you call the bear that pushes all the other bears into the pool?

The dry bear.