Water jokes

Why did LankyboxGamesJustin go to the aquarium?

Because he's gonna dance with aquayyyyrium!

If you kayak with a cap on and the kayak capsizes, whether or not the cap falls off depends on the cap size.

Why are fish smart?

They live in a school.

Jack and Rose went on a cruise to do it in the water.

Jack seldom wore a condom, and now they have a daughter.

Why is the sea salty? Because it is always blue.

"Look, Ma! I peed in the pool!"

Where do golf players practice?

Near a gulf.

Why did Miss Stephen get divorced? She didn't float, too.

What would the Mandalorian be called if it was made in an aquatic center?

Mandachlorian.

An optimist says, "The glass is half full."

A pessimist says, "The glass is half empty."

A scientist walks by and says, "You guys are both wrong. The glass is technically completely full because it is half filled with air."

Then Africa comes by and says, "Stop arguing. At least you guys have water!"

So, a man goes to church and is dipped in water three times by a Priest as he says, "From now on your name is Michael, and you will shed your sins of gambling and alcohol."

Soon after, the man heads home and rushes to the fridge to grab a can of beer. He turns on the sink and dips the beer can in the water three times while saying, "From now on you will be known as Not Alcohol."

John pretended to be a doctor.

Motu came to him. He said, "I lost my hunger."

John brought some samosas for his lunch. Motu ate them. John said, "Your hunger is back!"

Then, Motu said, "I lost my taste."

John said, "Number 1, bring some water." Motu drank it and said, "This is petrol!" John said, "Your taste is back!"

Motu said, "I lost my memory."

John said, "Number 1, bring some medicine." Motu said, "But Number 1 brought water." John said, "Your memory is back!"

What does a glass of water ask a pond?

"Water you doing?"

What does the pond answer?

"Pondering life."

What is the opposite of salt water?

Pepper water.

I don't see why Africans complain about not having water. They have free chocolate milk.

What is a cow's favorite water sport?

Ca-MOO-ing!

What do you call the bear that pushes all the other bears into the pool?

The dry bear.

Yo Father, don't use the baptism bath. I cleaned my anal plug in there.

What?

The holy water gets all the ass off. Don't mind the white stuff. *clears throat*

Yo mama so fat when she laid on a water bed, she laid on the whole Pacific Ocean.

Why will we never get hungry in the desert?

We have lots of sand-which's.