Water Jokes

They asked JFK Jr. if he wanted to shower before his flight. He said, "No, I'll just wash up on shore!"

What do you call a disabled person drowning?

A boat.

Why was the beach salty? Because the land didn't wave back. The ocean then called the land a beach.

how do you get a million fowlers you run through Africa with a bollet of water

Why are fish not sleeping? 'Cause the bed is wet.

Is water wet?

A man jumping into a pool with the text "DID YOU KNOW? In 1969 a man from Germany jumped into a pool and got wet."

So I walked into my bathroom to clean some stuff, and no one ever told me you can't put phones in the bathtub!

What's the difference between a rapist's mouth and a sewer?

Nothing, they both spout shit.

I hope you have to dip your Oreo’s in water because your dad never came back with the milk

I put my fish on a leash so I could teach him to walk. Then I took him out for a walk. Then, when I put him back in the tank, he stopped moving.

What do you get when you throw a pebble in the ocean?

A wet pebble.

The holy water in this church is of the highest quality: it has been assed by the bishop.

I like my women like I like my diving pool:

Deep and wet.

One day Billy, Bob, and Doo Da went fishing in a small boat. None of them could swim, and they had no life jackets.

Doo Da suddenly started yelling, "I got one boys!" as he started trying to reel the fish in. It was way too large for him to get onto the boat, and he fell into the water. The fish had a nice meal that night. Billy and Bob were in shock but knew they had to tell Mrs. Doo Da.

Upon arriving at her house, they did rock, paper, scissors on who had to tell her the news. Bob lost. He slowly rang the doorbell, and Mrs. Doo Da answered. "U-uhm.. we...Doo D-Da..f-fish..." Bob stuttered, then he screamed and ran off. Billy went to go retrieve his friend. Billy had a nice little talk with him and slapped him across the face to get him to just say what happened. Soon, the two men returned to Mrs. Doo Da's house and rang the doorbell again. She opened the door and looked at the two men and asked, "I've been trying to call Doo Da, and he hasn't answered, is he ok?" Bob took a deep breath and took a step forward with a smile on his face. He sang, "We went fishing, guess who died, Doo Da, Doo Da. He smiled and he said good bye, we mourn Doo Da today."

What do you call the midget sea?

A pond.

Jay and Andrew are best friends who are almost alike. The difference between them both is Jay is poor and well... Andrew, on the other hand, is suck-a-dick poor. Let me explain, Jay wakes up in his room, walks to the kitchen, and asks his mom, Lisa (I call her Lisa now, btw), if there is anything to eat. "No, bitch!" she replies, so Jay drinks a glass of milk and goes back to bed.

Now Andrew... wakes up, jumps out of bed, and he's in the kitchen. He sees his mom fixing some food for work after a long hard night of giving her husband blue balls. "Anything left for me, Mother?" Andrew asks. "Sorry, Honey, I have to eat to put food on the table and to get the running again." *so she goes to work, taking her time* Andrew sits by his bedside and says to himself, "Man... I'd suck a dick for some water right now." *his mom storms back after hearing what he had said* "I'll buy you a soda if you do my first customer for me!"