Water jokes
I went to the dam to take the dam tour, but the dam tour guide told me there wasn't going to be a dam tour that day. So I was thirsty and I wanted some dam water, but the dam man wouldn't give me any dam water, so I told the dam man to keep his dam water.
How do you get Carrie Underwood to dehydrate fast?
Tell her that all the water supplies contain the COVID vaccine.
How does Jesus make tea? Hebrews it.
Why do orphans only drink water in cereal?
'Cause Dad never brought home the milk...
In Africa, a koala and a kangaroo were very thirsty. The kangaroo said that when they have no water, they dig a hole and water comes out of it. Then the kangaroo dug, and in one minute the koala asked if there was any water. The kangaroo said no, and the koala had to wait for many minutes. Soon water came out of the hole, and then the koala jumped into the hole and drank water. The kangaroo wanted water too, so he tried to pull out the koala, but instead, his tail got chopped off, and then they never became friends again.
What do you call the midget sea?
A pond.
Two men walked into a bar, and one man asked for H20, and the other man asked for H20 too.
Only one man came out alive.
What’s the rarest gun to find in Africa?
A water gun…
What do you call a white bucket?
A pail.
True story: In 1986, in the midst of the HIV epidemic, they made condoms available to the public. At that time, me and my boyfriend were 13 years old. My boyfriend was so happy: "These will make great water balloons!" And I was even happier. I did not have to pack a lunch for school tomorrow, lol.
We almost drowned when we went out boating, but I got a watermelon to keep me floating.
So skinny you have to run around in the shower to get wet.
Why was the sea sad? Because it was blue.
Three men met on a nude beach. Two of the three men were happy, but the third was sad.
The three men broke into a conversation. The topic eventually reached the men's jobs, and why they were at the beach.
"I'm a construction worker," said the first man. "All year long I toil in the sun in very heavy clothes, so this seemed like the perfect vacation for me. If I can relax and do it naked, that's a win-win."
"I'm an accountant," said the second man. "I just like how everyone here is dressed exactly the same."
The first two men turned to the third, sad man. "What do you do?" they asked.
"I'm a pickpocket," said the third man. "My doctor sent me here."
Why did they call it "Aqua Claudia"?
Because it carried water, and another word for water is aqua. Duh!
Why are fish not sleeping? 'Cause the bed is wet.
What is a cow's favorite water sport?
Ca-MOO-ing!
How do you drown a Blonde? You put a scratch and sniff sticker in a pool.
Where do rabbits take baths and wash their asses?
Q: What do American beer and canoes have in common?
A: Fu@king close to water!