How many skinny people can fit in a tub? I don't know; they keep slipping down the drain.
Why can't you get water in the North Pole?
Because there is no well.
You're so poor that when you drink water from a cup, people flick a coin into it.
Why did Jesus die at the diving Olympics? Because he can't go through water.
Ever noticed that "lol" looks like a person drowning?
Why was the Mexican scared of cold water?
It might turn into ICE.
What happens to teeth when they go in water?
Bro, I dunno, they get wet?
When I was recently standing in front of a huge puddle with my buddy, I remembered how he tricked me a week ago. So I tricked him...
My last relationship ended because I didn’t open the car door for her. Instead, I just went to the top of the water.
I met a fat chick at the beach.
People started asking me what I use for bait, or do you want us to help throw the whale back in the water?
Roses are red, violets are blue; blood's thicker than water, so yeah, I got you.
What’s the difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing; no one cares how much lead is in the kids.
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bred dog.
An optimist says, "The glass is half full."
A pessimist says, "The glass is half empty."
A scientist walks by and says, "You guys are both wrong. The glass is technically completely full because it is half filled with air."
Then Africa comes by and says, "Stop arguing. At least you guys have water!"
A chemical store burned down, and the firefighter just stood there, but at the end, the store fire just went out by itself. But the store owner still got angry.
Store owner: Why didn't you take out the fire?
Firefighter: Yeah, but it went out by itself.
Store owner: But still, why?
Firefighter: Your chemical store sells H20.
Store owner: Oh, I get it now!
So, a man goes to church and is dipped in water three times by a Priest as he says, "From now on your name is Michael, and you will shed your sins of gambling and alcohol."
Soon after, the man heads home and rushes to the fridge to grab a can of beer. He turns on the sink and dips the beer can in the water three times while saying, "From now on you will be known as Not Alcohol."
John pretended to be a doctor.
Motu came to him. He said, "I lost my hunger."
John brought some samosas for his lunch. Motu ate them. John said, "Your hunger is back!"
Then, Motu said, "I lost my taste."
John said, "Number 1, bring some water." Motu drank it and said, "This is petrol!" John said, "Your taste is back!"
Motu said, "I lost my memory."
John said, "Number 1, bring some medicine." Motu said, "But Number 1 brought water." John said, "Your memory is back!"
What does a glass of water ask a pond?
"Water you doing?"
What does the pond answer?
"Pondering life."
What is the opposite of salt water?
Pepper water.
I don't see why Africans complain about not having water. They have free chocolate milk.
