War jokes
Why do US suck at chess? We lost both our towers.
Why is England so good at chess? They still have their queen.
Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.
Two of my grandpas died in WW2.
Their tower fell over.
So, I was watching YouTube, and then my friend says, "Those videos never get old." I replied, "Just like a Make-A-Wish kid." After I said that, he shot me in the head and said, "And now neither do you." Now I’m in Heaven, and God says to me, "Welcome to Paradise where it is summer days, clear skies," and I said, "Are there summer women?" Now here I am in Hell with my buddy Hitler. I believe he’s a hero after he killed Hitler.
What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair? (RC-XD)
Why does Adolf hate golf?
He ended up in the bunker.
Memes
What is the difference between Hitler and Usain Bolt?
Usain Bolt can finish a race.
Yo mama so fat that the US (Mexico) and North Korea (South Korea) got into a war fighting over who gets to use her as their border wall.
Where did Sora go during Nagasaki?
Everywhere.
Why did Al Qaeda lose $100 on a bet?
They bet $100 that they wouldn't crash when they went through the Twin Towers.
Why did Al Qaeda fail geometry?
'Cause they ruined the Pentagon.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RCXD.
Why did Hitler never go to a strip club?
Because he hated the Poles!
What’s Hitler’s favorite letter?
Not Z.
What do you call it when Panera Bread commits genocide?
Panera bloodshed.
You must be from Pearl Harbor, 'cause baby, you're the bomb!
What do you call a blind German?
A Nazi (not see).
What’s the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler?
Usain finished the races.
"If your enemy is kicking your ass, blame it on the lag."
-- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
"If two sides in a battlefield read my book, there will be no winner."
Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
"A foolish man is lactose intolerant. A wise man simply tolerates it."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War