War jokes
Q: Why is Japan the healthiest country?
A: Last time they had a fat man, 80,000 people died.
What's the difference between a toaster and a ten-year-old Chinese girl? A Japanese soldier would regret sticking his d*ck into a toaster.
Let me tell you how I escaped Iraq. Iran! (;)
What do you call a country with nukes?
Abomination.
Your race's favorite Star Wars Characters:
Arab...Admiral Ackbar (Allahu Akbar)
East Asian...Qui-Gon Jinn (Ching-Chong-Wing-Wong)
Jew...Rey (Ray)
Black...BB-8 (BBC)
Italian...Jabba the Hutt (Pizza Hut)
German...Admiral Piett (Hitler)
Memes
Two of my grandpas died in WW2.
Their tower fell over.
So, I was watching YouTube, and then my friend says, "Those videos never get old." I replied, "Just like a Make-A-Wish kid." After I said that, he shot me in the head and said, "And now neither do you." Now I’m in Heaven, and God says to me, "Welcome to Paradise where it is summer days, clear skies," and I said, "Are there summer women?" Now here I am in Hell with my buddy Hitler. I believe he’s a hero after he killed Hitler.
Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?
A. He marks the camels that kick.
The north and south towers got into an argument.
The south tower said, "We will talk about this when we are on the ground."
Why were there only 3,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo?
'Cause they only had 4 trucks.
What war did the black community win?
The Obama era. Only to lose to a smarter white person.
I rate the atmosphere of Israel a 10/7; real good stuff there, looks like an actual movie!
Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.
What do you say to the USA after 9/11? Checkmate.
It's not nice to make 9/11 jokes. My uncle died in 9/11...
He was one of al qaeda's best pilots.
Where did little billy go when he was stuck in a minefield... everywhere.
That joke was pretty dark, but it got pretty light for a second.
Me: "The villain has a point, you know."
Everyone else watching the WW2 documentary:
What are three things the Twin Towers have in common with my dad? They are big, sexy, and smashed your mom.
Hope the towers are doing well this morning, and I'll get back to you!
My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot, and then they bombed him. Now he called them the "Talkwakers."