Did you hear about the fortune telling dwarf that escaped from prison?

Reports say there’s a small medium at large!


Did you sea what I did?

How did I escape from Iraq, Iran.


Sad and lonely

If I was an object in this world I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break.

If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.

I’m a star! Because one of these days I’m going to crash and burn…

If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I’d be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.

I’m like the sun; I’m painful to look at.

If I was a food I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.

I’m like an eggshell… broken and empty.

If I was a mythical creature I’d be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.

I’m like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.

My soul is a raisin because it’s dried up shriveled, and not everyone likes it.

I’m like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.

I’m like the moon because as the month progresses my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.

I’m like an Ex streamly powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.

I’m like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.

I’m like a shity book cover… because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.

My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that can’t afford to go through with the divorce and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape but the more they try the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety

Help me…



How do you escape a French prison?

Yell angrily in German.



What do you call a vegetable who has escaped prison?

An escapea.



A tiny psychic escaped from jail and the news said there a small medium at large.



A brunette, a red-head, and a blonde are being chased by bandits. They are chased to the edge of a cliff and a genie appears. “I will help you escape,” says the genie, "say what you wish to turn into, and you will become that thing." The brunette jumps off the cliff and says “Hawk.” She turns into a hawk and flies away. The red-head says “Falcon.” She turns into a falcon and flies away. Now the blonde is alone and the bandits are getting closer. She makes her decision and backs up, then runs toward the cliff. And…she trips and says “Crap.”

                                                          The End


BIG Ricy jr

why does an orphan always try to escape the orphanige? Because he want to get money to buy a familly since they wolnt buy him.



What did the cops do when 600 hares escaped the zoo?

–the cops had to comb the area



A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt.

The physicist said, “We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed.”

The engineer said, “I think I’ve got a few spanners in the back. I’ll take a look and see if I can work out what’s wrong.”

The programmer said, “Why don’t we get going again and see if it’s reproducible?”



I always sucked at mazes. I found myself lost over and over again but if life is a labyrinth, I’d always find the escape. The final dead end, my personal favourite…



why does an orphan always try to escape the orphanige? Because he want to get money to buy a familly since they wolnt buy him.



The Chosen One

Today was no fun. A rhino escaped from the zoo and ate two parents. And I lost my job as zookeeper.



What do you call a short fortune-teller that escaped from jail?

A Small Medium at Large.



Did you hear about the four foot tall psychic who escaped prison? He’s a small medium at large.



Let me tell you how I escaped Iraq. Iran! (;

Copyright: Cade



a guy crashed his ford suv he couldnt ESCAPE.


Mike (the Funny one)

Two lions plan their escape from the circus. the night they get out of their cages they see a lone clown stumbling back from town, drunk, not a soul in sight. Since they are going on the run, they decide to catch one last meal before they hit the road. as one lion gets a bite of leg the second takes a piece of shoulder. Then one stops and asks his companion: Does this taste funny to you?



POV: your at school and you just enjoy your day. Now once you found a bully and he said “i will burn you in fire” then u just punched him Out the school and got detention. You escaped and walked home but the bully came and ROASTED you. He threw you in the garbage but you took off his cloths and even underwear. You escape the bin and took a shower and had a good day after


J0K35 (week 1)

Must. Escape. Meme. Existence is what meme stands for for some haters