War jokes

"A foolish man is lactose intolerant. A wise man simply tolerates it."

- Sun Tzu, The Art of War

What's Hitler's favorite letter? Not Z.

I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, and they got excited and asked if I could drive a B-52.

It was just a big hunter killer drone.

What do you call Hitler when he gets thrown?

A gas grenade.

Your hairline is so bad that they used it as trenches in the World War.

Why doesn't the U.S. Government play Clash of Clans?

Because they lost two towers already.

I once told an orphan to go big or go home. He replied, "I can't get home; it got bombed."

What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?

This car in RC-XD.

Where did Holly go during the bombing?

Everywhere.

It's not nice to make 9/11 jokes. My uncle died in 9/11...

He was one of al qaeda's best pilots.

Where did little billy go when he was stuck in a minefield... everywhere.

That joke was pretty dark, but it got pretty light for a second.

Me: "The villain has a point, you know."

Everyone else watching the WW2 documentary:

What do you say to the USA after 9/11? Checkmate.

What are three things the Twin Towers have in common with my dad? They are big, sexy, and smashed your mom.

Hope the towers are doing well this morning, and I'll get back to you!

I was in Afghanistan and I had been captured by the Taliban. I was going to get the death penalty.

Suddenly a man came out of nowhere and offered to take the penalty. It was my idolo Penaldo. He missed the penalty. Now I will die. Shame on u Penaldo!

If reincarnation is correct, if you die now, you can be reborn and live a second life. If you were born in Ukraine, you can immediately live a third life.

My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot, and then they bombed him. Now he called them the "Talkwakers."

At least he got D.L.A. (Disability Living Allowance), so it's not all bad. Every cloud has a silver lining...even a mushroom cloud.