War jokes
"If two sides in a battlefield read my book, there will be no winner."
Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
"A foolish man is lactose intolerant. A wise man simply tolerates it."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair? (RC-XD)
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RCXD.
Why did Hitler never go to a strip club?
Because he hated the Poles!
Memes
Yo mama so fat that the US (Mexico) and North Korea (South Korea) got into a war fighting over who gets to use her as their border wall.
What do you call it when Panera Bread commits genocide?
Panera bloodshed.
What did Jessiey do?
Jump and make a explosionnnnnnnn, heyyyy gas!
Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?
A. He marks the camels that kick.
The north and south towers got into an argument.
The south tower said, "We will talk about this when we are on the ground."
Why were there only 3,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo?
'Cause they only had 4 trucks.
What war did the black community win?
The Obama era. Only to lose to a smarter white person.
Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.
Nah, I'm Hawaiian but I'm also Japanese. So does that mean I bombed my own harbor?
What do you say to the USA after 9/11? Checkmate.
Where did little billy go when he was stuck in a minefield... everywhere.
That joke was pretty dark, but it got pretty light for a second.
Me: "The villain has a point, you know."
Everyone else watching the WW2 documentary:
What are three things the Twin Towers have in common with my dad? They are big, sexy, and smashed your mom.
Hope the towers are doing well this morning, and I'll get back to you!
My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot, and then they bombed him. Now he called them the "Talkwakers."