War jokes
In a normal country, they have lemonade. In Soviet Russia, they have Leninade: "Refresh yourself with a cold war."
I swear, in America, one school shooter can take good care of hundreds of kids, but hundreds of soldiers can't even win a war. Might as well send all your school shooters over there.
"Pootin is a pussy won't even fight in the war that he started!"
"Pootin is a pussy and Ukraine is beating Russia's ass!"
I took an hour-long shower. The German officers were looking at me kinda scared.
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
They already lost two towers.
A war isn’t about who is right, it’s about who is left!
What did the British soldiers say while in the trenches? "Damn, it's windy out here!"
Hello Honey Bunches, it's me, Your Narrator. I was told by my buddy youthpartorryan he's in the middle of a war... I may be super wholesome but war against my buddy? Ho ho ho, no! A STORM IS COMING. #BestFriends
When Hitler killed himself, he shot himself twice. The first one was Operation Barbarossa, and the second one was his death.
9/10/01
Bush: “Ok, I got this. Just act surprised and pretend to be sad and declare war on Afghanistan.”
What's full of lard and is reserved as Putin's cannon fodder?
Your mum!!!
Apparently terrorists and Japs are the same; they both went kamikaze.
How many times did Rob O'Neill shoot Bin Laden? 911 times.
A teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff.
But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share?" "Yes madam... My daddy told me a story about my Mom." "OK, let's hear" said the teacher.
"My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit." "She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife." "She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops." "She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands."
Pin drop silence in the class!
"Good Heavens" said the horrified teacher "What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?"
"Stay away from Mummy when she's drunk...!!!!"
Women be like men cause wars, [but] forget men fight those wars while they fake cry.
"Ukraine looks like Fallout 4, woah!"
I just found out that one of the new Star Wars shows is going to be about the time that some malware overloaded all of their computers, and I can tell from the title that those computers use Windows!
It's called "The Bad Batch File!"
Is it far enough? We publish interviews with people who know a lot about real wars.
Peace: On one case, that's true, but violence is the slogan for it.
Socialism: Yes, morning and evening. So the Sorce Streftator's work must be stopped!
Maoist: Yes, I like Walken Engspert.
Anarchist: Claire, this is why we don't need democracy, I'm Das Zoe Melsen.
Capitalism: Yes, but the truth is that he is ignorant and cannot be considered as an old leader, but as an employee.
Governor: Yes, but a strong left should be as strong as Minister Janomen Vardan or Director Januso Gavrelic.
Patriots: Are there simple megalithic laws?
When Kim Jong-un said "nuke the Chinese", he meant put the take away in the oven. Some simple misunderstandings start a war.
Stalin asked Hitler if he wants to hear a joke.
Hitler says, “Yes.”
Stalin then says, “Moscow.” Hitler replies with “I don’t get it?”
Stalin laughs for a long time and says, “And you never will.”