War jokes
When the guy next to you says that he kind of agrees with the villain.
Me watching a World War 2 documentary.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to stop the Cold War with a heater.
After watching Star Wars 8, I have to say Snoke was half the man I expected him to be.
In a normal country, they have lemonade. In Soviet Russia, they have Leninade: "Refresh yourself with a cold war."
Germany: As long as America stays out of the war, we should win.
Japan: *bombing Pearl Harbor* Cowabunga It Is!!
Your hairline looks like it got burnt in the Civil War.
Jim: My grandpa fought in the army during World War Two. He was an officer.
Me: Cool, what rank of officer?
Jim: SS.
Me:...
When Kim Jong-un said "nuke the Chinese", he meant put the take away in the oven. Some simple misunderstandings start a war.
What did a gay Indian use as weapons of war?
A rain-bow.
In 1941, Hans, a young German boy, was listening to the radio.
Over the radio, Hitler announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States.
"Father, where is the United States?" Hans asked.
His father pointed at a map of North America.
"Aren’t we currently at war with Russia? Where might that be?" he questioned his father.
The man pointed towards the Soviet Union.
"And I’m told we’re also at war with the British Empire. Where is that?"
The father pointed out all of the territories owned by the British.
"Where is Germany again, Father?"
He pointed to their home country in Central Europe.
Hans pondered this information for a second. "One last question, Father."
"Yes?"
"Has Hitler seen this map?"
What do you call six gay people in a war? Rainbow Six Siege.
Did you know my grandpa was part of World War 2? He killed Hitler.
Women be like men cause wars, [but] forget men fight those wars while they fake cry.
What first went through Sally's mind when the Nazis came? - A bullet.
What's the difference between a feminist and Hitler?
Both were good at starting wars, only difference was Hitler knew when to kill himself afterwards.
Why was the soldier reading the Geneva convention?
To-do list.
What war did Africa not win? The water fight.
"Pootin is a pussy won't even fight in the war that he started!"
"Pootin is a pussy and Ukraine is beating Russia's ass!"
"History's repeating itself. WWIII is coming, and the second Russia nukes the U.S., they're all getting fucked."
What do you call a kid watching Star Wars by themselves? Hans Solo.