War jokes
Why can’t Hitler do track?
He can’t even finish a race.
"Ching chong, drop the bomb!"
Where did the children go after he stepped on the land mine?
There, there, over there, and over here too.
Wonder why the Japanese people didn't see the bombs coming?
They didn't open their eyes.
What do Israel and Epstein have in common?
"Look at that, time to blow up some kids."
What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?
— Don't ask me. How should I know? I'm just the drone pilot.
Two guys watching a war movie at a bar are talking. One says to the other, "The Nazis starved my dad to death in a concentration camp during the war."
The other says, "My dad died in a camp as well... he broke his neck."
First guy says, "How did he break his neck?"
Second guy says, "He fell out of the guard tower."
If you call the number 800-273-8500 in Afghanistan, they say, "Can you fly a plane?"
What did the Army soldier say after he got his legs fixed?
Afgan-I-Stand.
What would Hitler be called if he abused women? Hither!
Yo mama so fat that the US (Mexico) and North Korea (South Korea) got into a war fighting over who gets to use her as their border wall.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
An RC-XD.
Why is America bad at Clash of Clans?
Because they already lost two towers.
Tonight, on Top Gear!
James May dives a bus full of kids off a mountain!
Richard Hammond starts WW3 in Germany!
And I fly a plane into the World Trade Center!
Why didn't the newest Star Wars movie start with the classic scrawl?
Because it was a Rogue One!
What's Hitler's favorite letter? Not Z.
Bin Laden was the hide and seek champion for 10 years, 2001-2011.
How would negotiations between Putin and Zelensky play out?
QUEUE THE MUSIC
BANG BANG INTO THE ROOM I KNOW U WANT IT
Why do Asians have squinty eyes?
Because atomic bombs are pretty damn bright.
Hitler killed 18 million and only died once.
Fucking camper!