War jokes
Why can't America play chess?
There are missing two towers.
If Germany is the father land, and Russia is the mother land, would WWII just be domestic violence?
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
An RC-XD.
What did the captured Germans say to the French in WW1?
"Verdun for."
So, if Russia was the motherland and Germany was the fatherland, what does that mean?
The Western Front is domestic violence.
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.
What is the difference between an ISIS training camp and a school?
Don't ask me, I just fly the drone.
If anyone ever makes a time machine, please make a bunker for Hitler/the Nazis and send them to 2050. I want to see who would die first, future us or them.
9/11 isn't something we should joke about. Some people can remember where they were when they found out. I'll never forget where I was when I found out.
It was 9:37, September 10th, 2001. I was in a cave in Iraq when my friend Mohammad told me.
Russia vs Ukraine be like that COD Modern Warfare mission. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Adolf Hitler + Vladimir Putin = Vladolf Putler.
"Our all-transgender brigade has suffered heavy casualties!"
"What? We haven’t even sent them to fight!"
"They’ve already lost 30% of the unit!"
Drop me in Afghanistan with a cigar, a Kobe jersey, a MAC-10, a Lambo Huracan with a bumper delete, and a Toyota Tacoma with an M249 on the back. Then I'll have Afghanistan as the 51st state by midnight.
When I called the suicidal hotline in Iraq, they asked if I could drive the car.
My grandfather lost his tongue during WW2.
He never talks about it.
What was Hitler's favorite thing to do to pass the time?
Smoking.
Why is Afghanistan good at chess? They take the rooks out fast.
What is the biggest fear of an American soldier taking a piss in a bush during the Vietnam war? His manhood will be chopped off.
Why are all Asians so skinny?
Because last time there was a fat man a whole population disappeared.
Husband: Dammit, Alice! I'm your husband, and I'm telling you that you better stay in this kitchen if you know what's good for you!
Wife: Go to hell, Bob! I'm leaving!
Ignoring my protective advice, Alice stormed out of our underground kitchen, even though it was the safest place to be while the nuclear war still raged outside.
My dad killed Hitler.