War jokes

How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast? They marched in backwards and the Polish people thought they were leaving.

What did the Hiroshima survivor say about the day Little Boy dropped? "It was a blast!"

Whoever kills Hitler goes to heaven. Oh, wait... nevermind...

In Syria, there are no Walmarts, only Targets.

I just found out that there is a racist stereotype about Asians being bad drivers, which isn't true... but if it is, then maybe Pearl Harbor was just an accident.

What can an Olympic runner do that Hitler can't?

Finish a race.

Why do they make glow-in-the-dark condoms?

So gay people can play Star Wars.

If Chuck Norris was a Spartan in the movie 300, the movie would be called 1.

What's the difference between an Afghan kindergarten and a military target?

The drone guy didn't know either.

A man tried to shoot Adolf Hitler, but missed. Then Adolf replied, "Oh shoot, I did nazi that coming!"

Where did Johnny go during the bombing?

Everywhere.

Why are Japanese people's eyes so squinted?

Do you know how bright an atomic bomb is?

What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?

I don't know, I'm just the drone pilot.

My grandpa was amazing. He killed Hitler.

Abortion clinics are kind of like NAZI gas chambers. Less people come out than go in.

What does an Al Qaeda terrorist and a flexible man have in common?

They can blow themselves up.

I called a suicidal hotline in Iraq and they asked me if I could drive a truck.

A missile hit a hospital earlier this morning. Fortunately, no one was injured - but 100 were killed.

Where did Lucy go during the bombing?

Everywhere.

What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair?

An RCXD (remote control explosive).