War jokes

What did the Hiroshima survivor say about the day Little Boy dropped? "It was a blast!"

Whoever kills Hitler goes to heaven. Oh, wait... nevermind...

In Syria, there are no Walmarts, only Targets.

If Chuck Norris was a Spartan in the movie 300, the movie would be called 1.

What's the difference between an Afghan kindergarten and a military target?

The drone guy didn't know either.

What can an Olympic runner do that Hitler can't?

Finish a race.

Why do they make glow-in-the-dark condoms?

So gay people can play Star Wars.

Where did Johnny go during the bombing?

Everywhere.

Why are Japanese people's eyes so squinted?

Do you know how bright an atomic bomb is?

A man tried to shoot Adolf Hitler, but missed. Then Adolf replied, "Oh shoot, I did nazi that coming!"

I just found out that there is a racist stereotype about Asians being bad drivers, which isn't true... but if it is, then maybe Pearl Harbor was just an accident.

What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?

I don't know, I'm just the drone pilot.

My grandpa was amazing. He killed Hitler.

What does an Al Qaeda terrorist and a flexible man have in common?

They can blow themselves up.

Abortion clinics are kind of like NAZI gas chambers. Less people come out than go in.

Pickup lines in 2022 are like: "Are you Russia? Because your bombs are so big!"

Where did Lucy go during the bombing?

Everywhere.

What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair?

An RCXD (remote control explosive).

When I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, they got all excited and asked if I could fly a plane.

Women: “Men used to go to war, now they go to clubs.”

Men: “Women used to fear their nudes getting leaked, now it’s $3.99.”