War jokes
When you kill people in a war, it's perfectly fine, but when it's a school, everyone has a problem with it, wth.
Pickup lines in 2022 are like: "Are you Russia? Because your bombs are so big!"
What first went through Sally's mind when the Nazis came? - A bullet.
How does an American know that his time has come?
He starts hearing Vietnamese.
They call it the Cold War because Russia is cold in 2 ways.
What war did Africa not win? The water fight.
Jim: My grandpa fought in the army during World War Two. He was an officer.
Me: Cool, what rank of officer?
Jim: SS.
Me:...
Anyone know about the war? It's not Russia we should hate, it's Putin that we should. 🙄🤪💅
What do you call a retreat in war?
A backup plan.
I swear, in America, one school shooter can take good care of hundreds of kids, but hundreds of soldiers can't even win a war. Might as well send all your school shooters over there.
When the guy next to you says that he kind of agrees with the villain.
Me watching a World War 2 documentary.
"Why do people call Americans excessive?"
"It was probably because of WWII."
"Oh, you mean the war where America responded to the destruction of several ships and a harbor and the deaths of a little over a thousand by completely flattening two cities and killing hundreds of thousands of people?"
When Kim Jong-un said "nuke the Chinese", he meant put the take away in the oven. Some simple misunderstandings start a war.
"If you can't win, lose."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
We will win the war! 🇷🇺🇷🇺🇷🇺
What do eggs use in war? Eggk47s get my yolk this is really cracking me up!
They’d probably get shellshocked, wasn’t it all eggcellent? Ok, Ok, I’m headed for the egg-it.
Why did the new egg fell so good? It just got laid.
Why did the French call Napoleon "Napo?" Because it is Napo[leon].
When you're in the war and you die and say to God, "Where is the gulag?"
Russia: "Silence."
Ukraine: Help...
How many times was Osama bin Laden shot?
911 times.