An American woman married a British man. On their honeymoon, the British husband said, ̈You look like a million pounds! ̈ The wife divorced him.
What's the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag?
The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
An American is lecturing a British person, saying things like "it's an elevator not a lift" and "it's chips not crisps" etc. After a while of this the British person calmly retorted "they're schools, not shooting ranges".
next time u see a Brit, go up to them and say:
Imagine losing a 'Tea Party in Boston'
Wonder why the British are so good at chess? They have the queen.
Wonder why Americans are so bad at chess? They lost two towers.
How did the British lose the war of 1812
They were out Britshed
In communist Russia there is no discrimination. White, black, African, American, British and Asian. They all go to Gulag eventually
The British equivalent to 9/11 would be a big red bus crashing into Big Ben
Americans when they think they have the best offensive British jokes: we threw your tea in the ocean. 💀
British people making offensive jokes about America: our towers didn’t explode.😎
Asians love it when a british person says "Rice"!
In British chess I guess they play without a queen...
But in American chess they play without 2 towers
why do they put barcodes on the ships in norway why? so when they come into port they can scan-de-navian
why cant british people play chess
because they lost their queen
Americans: we drive on the right side of the road
The British: we drive on the left side of the road
Russia: ROAD IS ROAD *crashing noises follow*
whats the difference between the queens death and princess Diana death? the queen died in peace not pieces
Only one band is capable of affording the insurance on supercars. UB40!
American people: We will throw your teabags in the ocean! British: At least our towers didn’t fall😎
The American salute start's with your hand being facing flat towards the ground on your head. The British salute starts with your hand against your head just like the American Salute. The French salute starts your hands in the air. The Saudi salute starts with you being bent over with a camel tongue in your ass.
After getting in the White House, D.Trump gets a letter.... ... from the Iranian president. He opens it and to his surprise there is a paper with a weird looking code on it:
370HSSV 0773H
All confused, Trump contacts the FBI and forwards the letter to them in hope they can figure out the meaning, but they weren't able to. Trump gets angry and sends the letter to both the CIA and NSA, and they also fail to figure out the meaning of the letter.
One of the agents suggest Trump to ask for MI6's help, so he does and few minutes after a British agent sends a fax to his secretary: Tell your president he was holding the letter upside down.
Just because I don't like Lewis Hamilton, doesn't make me racist.
