An American is lecturing a British person, saying things like “it’s an elevator not a lift” and “it’s chips not crisps” etc. After a while of this the British person calmly retorted “they’re schools, not shooting ranges”.

What’s the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag?

The tea bag stays in the cup longer.

Wonder why the British are so good at chess? They have the queen.

Wonder why Americans are so bad at chess? They lost two towers.

An American woman married a British man. On their honeymoon, the British husband said, ¨You look like a million pounds!¨ The wife divorced him.

In communist Russia there is no discrimination. White, black, African, American, British and Asian. They all go to Gulag eventually

The American salute start’s with your hand being facing flat towards the ground on your head. The British salute starts with your hand against your head just like the American Salute. The French salute starts your hands in the air. The Saudi salute starts with you being bent over with a camel tongue in your ass.

British MP Sally Ann Hart has filed for divorce citing sexual unfulfillment. Her husband couldn’t fuck her the way her stupidity could

Only one band is capable of affording the insurance on supercars. UB40!

Roses are red,my name is Dan…tdm,I have a gun,GET IN THE VAN!

How did the British lose the war of 1812

They were out Britshed

why do they put barcodes on the ships in norway why? so when they come into port they can scan-de-navian

what did paul revere yell during a full moon? the british are cumming, !the british are cumming!

What’s the difference between an Englishman and a unicorn?

Nothing

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