Violence jokes
When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say, “This boy always had a fat ass.”
How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thin you slice them. -Hope Marie Lawson
what did the pedophile say to the kid?
"Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van."
What do you call a 5-year-old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
What's the best thing about abuse jokes? The punchline.
Memes
What do you do when you finish a magazine at the hospital?
You reload and keep shooting.
I was hit on by President Kennedy, too bad I shot him down.
Don't you just want to go on a mass murder while listening to goodbye Moonman? Oh, just me... OK.
Why did Tyrone drop his ice cream cone?
A: He got shot.
What do you call a kid with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
Someone at school judged my grammar.
I judged theirs by the terms "school" and "rifle range" being mixed up the next day.
I never get school shooting jokes.
Maybe they're aimed at a younger audience.
Teacher: What's 3 minus 1? Me: I don't know. Teacher: How about this, you have three cakes, I take one. How many cakes do you have? Me: Three. Teacher: If I take one cake from your three, what do you have? Me: Three cakes and a dead teacher.
When the school shooter is right outside the classroom window, and the autistic kid starts trying to say hello to him.
Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his brother in the woods?
What are some other names for rape? There’s the classic “struggle snuggle,” but then there’s my personal favorite “fuck fight”.
What has four legs and one arm?
A Rottweiler in a children’s playground.
How do terrorists feed their babies?
Here comes the airplane...
HERE COMES THE SECOND ONE 👹
Someone said to stop hurting myself, but I'm still trying to cut my arms off.
How to respond if someone starts looking at the photos on your phone.
Step 1: Jab your thumbs into their eye sockets.