Violence

Violence jokes

Pedophile

what did the pedophile say to the kid?

"Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van."

  • 1
  • Game of Thrones

    The other day I started watching Game of Thrones.

    I told my friend about it. Told him all about the violence, murder, decapitation, gore, sex, gay sex, midget sex, prostitution, rape, paedophilia, incest, and inbreeding... And he was like: "Oh, so you're still on the first episode then?"

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  • Kid

    What do you call a kid with no friends?

    A Sandy Hook survivor.

  • 0
  • Teacher

    Teacher: What's 3 minus 1? Me: I don't know. Teacher: How about this, you have three cakes, I take one. How many cakes do you have? Me: Three. Teacher: If I take one cake from your three, what do you have? Me: Three cakes and a dead teacher.

    School Shooter

    When the school shooter is right outside the classroom window, and the autistic kid starts trying to say hello to him.

    Bike

    Why did Billy fall off his bike?

    Because his dad threw a chair at him.

    School

    I never get school shooting jokes.

    Maybe they're aimed at a younger audience.

    Infant

    Why wasn't the infant's entire body found?

    Because the limbs are scattered around 43°17.7355’N, 113°58.4205’W.

    Teacher

    My teacher said, "I'm gonna leave soon, I don't want to be here anymore!" So I shot her.

    Response

    How to respond if someone starts looking at the photos on your phone.

    Step 1: Jab your thumbs into their eye sockets.

    Fortnite

    Fortnite is just like high school. You get off the bus and start shooting everybody.

    Ball

    Roses are red, violets are blue, I have no balls, neither will you. 🔪🔪

    Girl

    So, there was this girl on the street that had no arms or legs, that said "Hey sir, I've never been fucked before, will you do the honors and fuck me?" So, I threw her in the ocean and said "Well, your fucked now."

    Cheese grater

    I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday.

    He said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.

    Girl

    There was this girl on the street that had no arms and no legs. She looked at me and said, “Hey sir, I’ve never been fucked before, will you fuck me?” So I threw her in the ocean and said, “Well, you’re fucked now.”