Violence Jokes

What do you call a kid with no friends?

A Sandy Hook survivor.

Teacher: What's 3 minus 1? Me: I don't know. Teacher: How about this, you have three cakes, I take one. How many cakes do you have? Me: Three. Teacher: If I take one cake from your three, what do you have? Me: Three cakes and a dead teacher.

When the school shooter is right outside the classroom window, and the autistic kid starts trying to say hello to him.

Why did Billy fall off his bike?

Because his dad threw a chair at him.

I never get school shooting jokes.

Maybe they're aimed at a younger audience.

The image shows a close-up of a character from the Mortal Kombat video game with its skin torn off. The text on the image reads "When the voices bet me a cigar that I can't tear my skin off." Below the image is the text "THESCHIZOPHRENIC WINS", followed by "FLAWLESS VICTORY."

Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his brother in the woods?

Have you heard about the guy whose friends teased him because he pays for sex? He doesn't pay anymore.

what did the pedophile say to the kid?

"Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van."

Someone said to stop hurting myself, but I'm still trying to cut my arms off.

Why wasn't the infant's entire body found?

Because the limbs are scattered around 43°17.7355’N, 113°58.4205’W.

My teacher said, "I'm gonna leave soon, I don't want to be here anymore!" So I shot her.

I was told to burn calories, so I threw your mom in the fire.

How to respond if someone starts looking at the photos on your phone.

Step 1: Jab your thumbs into their eye sockets.

Fortnite is just like high school. You get off the bus and start shooting everybody.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have no balls, neither will you. 🔪🔪

So, there was this girl on the street that had no arms or legs, that said "Hey sir, I've never been fucked before, will you do the honors and fuck me?" So, I threw her in the ocean and said "Well, your fucked now."

I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday.

He said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.

There was this girl on the street that had no arms and no legs. She looked at me and said, “Hey sir, I’ve never been fucked before, will you fuck me?” So I threw her in the ocean and said, “Well, you’re fucked now.”

The other day I started watching Game of Thrones.

I told my friend about it. Told him all about the violence, murder, decapitation, gore, sex, gay sex, midget sex, prostitution, rape, paedophilia, incest, and inbreeding... And he was like: "Oh, so you're still on the first episode then?"