Violence jokes

Three rednecks, Billy, Joe, and John, are talking about their hobbies. They agree on shooting. John says, "I like shooting animals." Joe says, "I like shooting birds." Billy says, "I like shooting cans." Joe and John ask, "What kind of cans, like bear cans, Pepsi cans, or cola cans?" Billy responds, "Africans, Mexicans, Jamaicans, and Asian Americans."

An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away... it can keep ANYONE away.

if you throw it hard enough.

What do you call a kid with no friends?

A Sandy Hook survivor.

Serial murderer Ed Gein was famed for raping, killing, and skinning his victims.

When he was asked why he did it, he responded, "You don't know someone until you walk around in their skin."

I would never kill an animal. I'm more of a people person.

99% of women kiss with their eyes closed, that's why it's so hard to identify the rapist.

What's the difference between a man and a table?

The table doesn't cry when I break its legs.

Q. What do you call a gun that rapes someone?

A. An assault rifle.

I would make a rape joke, but I'd have to force it down your throat.

What’s the difference between a hundred decapitated babies and a Ferrari? I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.

Q: What's the hardest thing about losing your virginity?

A: Making sure she doesn't wake up.

How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles?

You nail its other hand to the ground.

What do you do when you finish a magazine at the hospital?

Reload and keep shooting.

Someone in London is stabbed every two minutes. Poor guy.

Rape is a touchy subject.

When the school shooter throws a smoke bomb into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a dance party.

Mary had a little lamb. Chick, chick, bam! No more lamb.

My little cousin's birthday was in a few days, and his mom said he wanted Hot Wheels. So I sent him a video of me pushing a paralyzed kid into fire and screaming "HOT WHEELS!"

I was going to make a rape joke, but I don’t think you would’ve given me consent.

If you kill an orphan, would that count as a squad wipe?