Violence jokes

I was hit on by President Kennedy, too bad I shot him down.

An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away... it can keep ANYONE away.

if you throw it hard enough.

Why did the bank robber shoot the man with no arms?

Because he told the man to put his hands up.

Serial murderer Ed Gein was famed for raping, killing, and skinning his victims.

When he was asked why he did it, he responded, "You don't know someone until you walk around in their skin."

I would never kill an animal. I'm more of a people person.

What are some other names for rape? There’s the classic “struggle snuggle,” but then there’s my personal favorite “fuck fight”.

I would make a rape joke, but I'd have to force it down your throat.

What’s the difference between a hundred decapitated babies and a Ferrari? I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.

99% of women kiss with their eyes closed, that's why it's so hard to identify the rapist.

Q. What do you call a gun that rapes someone?

A. An assault rifle.

How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles?

You nail its other hand to the ground.

How do you avoid getting raped? Just don't say no!

Someone in London is stabbed every two minutes. Poor guy.

What do you do when you finish a magazine at the hospital?

Reload and keep shooting.

When the school shooter throws a smoke bomb into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a dance party.

Rape is a touchy subject.

Someone at school judged my grammar.

I judged theirs by the terms "school" and "rifle range" being mixed up the next day.

Q: What's the hardest thing about losing your virginity?

A: Making sure she doesn't wake up.

I was going to make a rape joke, but I don’t think you would’ve given me consent.

If you kill an orphan, would that count as a squad wipe?