Violence jokes

There was this girl on the street that had no arms and no legs. She looked at me and said, “Hey sir, I’ve never been fucked before, will you fuck me?” So I threw her in the ocean and said, “Well, you’re fucked now.”

What has four legs and one arm?

A Rottweiler in a children’s playground.

It's not rape if they can't say no. Duct tape.

I was hit on by President Kennedy, too bad I shot him down.

An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away... it can keep ANYONE away.

if you throw it hard enough.

Why did the bank robber shoot the man with no arms?

Because he told the man to put his hands up.

Serial murderer Ed Gein was famed for raping, killing, and skinning his victims.

When he was asked why he did it, he responded, "You don't know someone until you walk around in their skin."

I would never kill an animal. I'm more of a people person.

When the school shooter throws a smoke bomb into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a dance party.

99% of women kiss with their eyes closed, that's why it's so hard to identify the rapist.

Q. What do you call a gun that rapes someone?

A. An assault rifle.

I would make a rape joke, but I'd have to force it down your throat.

What’s the difference between a hundred decapitated babies and a Ferrari? I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.

How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles?

You nail its other hand to the ground.

Someone in London is stabbed every two minutes. Poor guy.

What do you do when you finish a magazine at the hospital?

Reload and keep shooting.

Rape is a touchy subject.

Someone at school judged my grammar.

I judged theirs by the terms "school" and "rifle range" being mixed up the next day.

Q: What's the hardest thing about losing your virginity?

A: Making sure she doesn't wake up.

I was going to make a rape joke, but I don’t think you would’ve given me consent.