Violence

Violence Jokes

Apple

An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away... it can keep ANYONE away.

if you throw it hard enough.

Bank Robber

Why did the bank robber shoot the man with no arms?

Because he told the man to put his hands up.

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  • Victim

    Serial murderer Ed Gein was famed for raping, killing, and skinning his victims.

    When he was asked why he did it, he responded, "You don't know someone until you walk around in their skin."

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  • Rape

    What are some other names for rape? There’s the classic “struggle snuggle,” but then there’s my personal favorite “fuck fight”.

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  • Autistic kid

    When the school shooter throws a smoke bomb into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a dance party.

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  • Rape

    I would make a rape joke, but I'd have to force it down your throat.

    Difference

    What’s the difference between a hundred decapitated babies and a Ferrari? I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.

    Baby

    How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles?

    You nail its other hand to the ground.

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  • Rapist

    99% of women kiss with their eyes closed, that's why it's so hard to identify the rapist.

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  • Magazine

    What do you do when you finish a magazine at the hospital?

    Reload and keep shooting.

    Grammar

    Someone at school judged my grammar.

    I judged theirs by the terms "school" and "rifle range" being mixed up the next day.

    Rape

    I was going to make a rape joke, but I don’t think you would’ve given me consent.

    Sex

    Q: What's the hardest thing about losing your virginity?

    A: Making sure she doesn't wake up.

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