Violence jokes
I set a gay person on fire. We now call him LGBBQ.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
An RC-XD.
What’s strong enough for a man, but made for a woman?
The back of my hand.
They laughed at my drawing, so I laughed at their chalk outline.
How do you save your wife from drowning?
Take your foot off her neck.
Rape: The only crime where you have to tell the victim they couldn't do anything even if they could run or say something, then after, are told rapists stop them doing something about it.
What is a terrorist's favorite song?
"Pumped Up Kicks."
What do you do if your dishwasher stops working?
Punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.
When I die, I want to be shot out of a cannon.
And into a children's birthday party.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? One, if you throw it hard enough.
How to make white ice cream red... blend a baby into it!
POV: You're at school and you just enjoy your day.
Now once you found a bully and he said, "I will burn you in fire," then you just punched him out of the school and got detention. You escaped and walked home, but the bully came and ROASTED you. He threw you in the garbage, but you took off his clothes and even his underwear. You escape the bin and took a shower and had a good day after.
One time I was playing a bongo at a Chinese restaurant.
But they were competing against a Cuban restaurant and killed me.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
A guy stole my car last night. Before dialing 911 I thought, "Fuck it. Let him explain the dead bodies in the trunk."
What’s red and goes 100 miles per hour?
Babies in a blender.
The doctor said I had two years to live, so I shot him. The warden gave me 50. Problem solved!
Guys, you know any best rape roleplay? (I'm a guy, btw.)
I need to go to the hospital because I'm getting shot by a PUN.
A baby seal walks into a club...