when is it normal to freeze before being raped?
when a policeman rapes you.
When the school shooter finally leaves your classroom, but then the autistic kid next to you's sketchers light up.
Why did the Columbine High School basketball team lose the big game?
Because they lost their two best shooters...
How many babies do you need to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
It's not rape if they can't say no. Duct tape.
A man walks into a bar with a 44. Magnum and yells, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" The bartender answers, "Mate, you ain't got enough bullets."
Why did the rape victim think it was Christmas?
Because her clothes were torn off like wrapping paper.
What's the difference between my dad and my stepdad?
My stepdad beat my ass before he left.
What did the white kid pull out of his bookbag?
A 9mm.
What's the smartest crime?
3rd degree murder.
What's worse than ten babies nailed to one tree?
One baby nailed to ten trees.
I stopped a terrorist from killing 100 people on a plane using self-control.
my therapist says with time all wounds can heal.
So I stabbed him. Now we wait.
What's better than seeing a baby swing around on a clothesline at 60km/h? Stopping it with a cricket bat.
Teacher: "I'm sorry, but you got a 74 on the test."
Quiet Kid: "I'll show you my own 74."
Classroom: *visible panic*
How do you make an adopted kid bleed? ... Tell him to clap until his parents come back.
Sonic says: "If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"
How do you get 500 dead babies into a car?
A blender.
How do you get 500 dead babies out of a car?
A straw.
What is the difference between a whore and an onion?
You don't cry when you chop a whore.
Two teenagers were raping an 11-year-old girl in an alley, so I stepped in to help. The little bitch didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
