Violence jokes
What did the little boy say to the fat man?
How many Japs did you get?
Mary had a little lamb. Chick, chick, bam! No more lamb.
It's only rape.
If she finds out.
If you want to pick on someone, pick on orphans. Let them tell their parents.
Double!
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
Triple!
Why did Bob cross the road? Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.
No means no, but if you use chloroform, it’s a guaranteed yes.
Guess what song this is from:
"I'll cut you into little bitty pieces,
Or freeze you till your blood runs cold,
Or stab your till' you heart stops pumping.
I'm here to realize your wish from what I'm told."
When the school shooter finds you and you think you’re gonna die, but he remembers the time you gave him a pen.
How do you fit a baby into a shoebox?
A blender.
How do you get them out?
Tortilla chips.
Did you hear about the boy who got raped by a group of women in the park whilst jogging? Now there are lots of male joggers in the area.
When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say, “This boy always had a fat ass.”
Bf: "Roses are red, violets are blue, you're my bf and I luv you."
Gf: "I luv u too."
Bf: "But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, I heard you were cheating, I'll knock off your head."
Gf: "Ah, about that..."
According to statistics, 5 of 6 people enjoy gang rape.
How do you make rape funny? Tickle her while you do it.
How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thin you slice them. -Hope Marie Lawson
What do you call a 5-year-old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
What do you do when you finish a magazine at the hospital?
You reload and keep shooting.
What's the best thing about abuse jokes? The punchline.
Have you heard about the guy whose friends teased him because he pays for sex? He doesn't pay anymore.
Don't you just want to go on a mass murder while listening to goodbye Moonman? Oh, just me... OK.
My little cousin's birthday was in a few days, and his mom said he wanted Hot Wheels. So I sent him a video of me pushing a paralyzed kid into fire and screaming "HOT WHEELS!"