Violence jokes

My ex misses me, good thing she'll never hit me.

I was walking to the park and a mystery killer came and shot me.

What is a terrorist's first move in chess?

C4.

Rape victims suck, literally.

Kid: Hey, Mum, why are we pushing the car off the cliff?

Mum: Shut up, son, you’ll wake your father!

Jack and Jill went up a hill so Jill could lick Jack's candystick, but Jill got a surprise when she saw her boyfriend Rik. He got so angry Jack has no candystick no more. Jill went home with a black eye, and Rik got arrested for cutting Jack's candystick.

Grandpa's last words: "Why do you have a chainsaw?"

Sonic says: If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

If raping someone is sexual harassment, then is raping a rapist inverted harassment?

So, in "Revenge of the Sixth" when Anakin goes and kills the younglings, I thought to myself, "Hey, it’s just another day in an American school."

Friend 1: I don't want to jump.

Friend 2: Me neither.

Murderer: If you don't jump, I'll stab you.

Friend 1: *jumps*

Friend 2: *jumps*

Murderer: I didn't mean off the building!

Friend 1: I know that. I just pretended to jump to get rid of that guy.

When is a rapist safe around children?

When his plans are oven ready.

If I were to cut your legs off, would it hurt? Because your legs will be cut off...

A black guy walks into a store to buy some watermelon and fried chicken. The cashier says, "That'll be $20." He pulls out his wallet, but it's empty. Suddenly, a bigger black guy bursts in, grabs him, and says, "Time to pay up, n***a!" Then he bends him over the counter and fucks him in the ass.

This kid lost Kahoot, so he shot up the school.

My girlfriend said, "GIMME EIGHT INCHES AND MAKE IT HURT!"

So I pumped my dick in her 4 times and hit her in the head with a brick.

Q. What's a bulimic's favorite movie?

A. The Purge.

I fared it. I ticked the orphan. He jiggled, he was burning, so I did it again.

What would Donald Trump be if he was Black?

Shot in the head.

Teacher: What comes after C?

Me: Ooh! Ooh! C4!

Teacher: Umm, ok... but still what comes after A?

Me: AK47!!!

Teacher thought: Oh hell na.

Teacher: What comes after X?

Me: Xplosin.

1 second later, bomb goes off. Idk.