Violence jokes
What do you get when you cross a bunny and a Rottweiler? Just the Rottweiler.
You're the bunny, and I'm the Rottweiler.
Don't believe what your school bully tells you.
Always take it with a grain of assault.
Do you know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Do you know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?
Yes, I know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Yes, I know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane.
Guess how I'm getting laid tonight?
"I'm stronger than you."
How do you make an 8 year old girl cry twice?
Wipe your bloody cock off on her favorite teddy bear.
Would love to pound Sterling with a 14 lb hammer.
It's only okay to beat up a dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say, "Your hair smells nice."
There's a new cooking programme on BBC1. The contestants are victims of domestic violence. It's called "Can't Cook... Right Hook."
What do people have a shot at when it comes to love? Shooting them in the heart.
If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
When the school shooter gives the autistic kid a glock and he shoots himself, thinking it’s a cigarette.
Why did the little girl cry twice?
Because you wiped your shitty bloody duck on her favorite teddy bear.
"A llahu Aks into a bar..."
And it blows up!
Sally has no arms. She fell off the swing. Why? Someone threw a fridge at her. AAHAHAAAHHAHAH!
I looked at you, and you were bald until I got slapped up by Will Smith to the back of your head and saw the Great Wall of China.
What's black, white, and red all over?
A nun in a blender.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bum.
Bum who?
Bum holding a pistol!
As tragic as school shootings are, it's also a quick way to a late-term abortion.
Why did Sally fall out the window?
She was pushed.
What did the 1.8 nanosecond old baby get for his birthday?
Nailed to a puppy falling on a buzz saw being crushed in a hydraulic press while being set on fire.