Violence jokes

Do you know how a dragon is? You don't know who? It's dragging these 2-liter balls across your pathetic face and slamming it into a f*cking dumpster you regret.

Why did McDonald’s kill somebody because they stole the 12-piece nuggets that will never be seen because of them!

I learned that a strangler was targeting me.

All I could think was, "You’ve got to be choking me!"

What leaves a bigger memory than a passionate kiss?

A stab wound.

Don't break someone's heart. They only have one.

Break someone's bones. They have 206 of them.

I slit my wrist and said, "THAT'S A LOT OF DAMAGE!" So I did it again, but with a knife and said, "NOW *THAT'S* A LOT OF DAMAGE!" I then put watertight Flex Seal on the wound, and it didn't seal.

How many babies does it take to paint the walls red?

Depends how hard you throw them.

A sad guy called "nun" is crying next to the grave of his best friend called "month". "Month" got killed by a gay guy, and after that, "nun" got homophobic.

While "nun" is sitting next to "month"'s grave, he heard a guy ask his friend: 《Do You Wanna Play A Game On?》 "Nun" got angry and he asked that guy: 《What did you just say to your friend?》 The guy answers: 《A game on, why?》

"Nun" kills the two guys.

🤔

What do you say to a woman who is completely beaten up on her face, full of bruises, and has a broken jaw?

"Will you listen now?!??"

What did the rope and the tree say to the kid?

Do you want to hang later?

My life is so meaningless that I committed a crime just to get shot. 0-0

This is not a joke; this is just about death...

OnlyFans, but it’s me smacking your baby daddies with Twisted Tea.

Only Cans.

Look, an orphan, let's go beat 'em up.

Over summer, I shot up my school and left a note saying, "I could have done this anytime!"

What was one cool thing about Hitler?

He used to paint his thoughts on the wall with a gun.

A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, "WHO THE F*** F***ED MY WIFE!" A man in the back responds, "YOU AIN'T GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!"

What does a beaten woman do when she comes home from the hospital?

Dishes if she knows what's good for her health.

If you're having a bad day, just slap an orphan. Who are they going to tell? Their parents?

What kind of rape victim has a shower ten times a day?

The type that gets raped a lot.

Your hairline got pulled back. You look like you've been climbing Chris, and you got smacked up by Will Smith.