I like my women like I like my eggs.
Beaten against a table until her insides come out.
Violence Jokes
What's the best way to get ten babies in a bowl?
A blender.
What's the best way to get them out?
A blender.
First Date: HE: "I work with animals every day!" SHE: "Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?" HE: "I’m a butcher." SHE: "Perfect! I work with humans, I just kill them by cutting them up!"
HE: "So it's you in the newspaper?" SHE: "Yes, it was, wanna be next?" HE: "No!"
What's the difference between a yandere and a gun?
Nothing.
Flip them off the wrong way and you're dead.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them, with fuck.
You're walking into a bar and you see 2 younger kids around 18. You call the manager to have them removed, but no one came down.
Later that night, you see the 2 18-year-olds, 1 was a girl and the other was a boy, so you call the manager down. No one came again. You confront them and tell them to leave, but one turns around and hits you. You are knocked out on the floor. When you wake up, there is a hard feeling in your a**. You turn your head around and there is an autistic girl with a strap-on in your a** going full on hard.
A gay rapist saves a female rape victim, then rapes the rapist.
Me: Hi, my name is...
Bro: Hey guys! So who are you?
Me: Hey, stop dude!
Bro: How is it going, bro--
Me: SHUT UP!
Bro: Is that a gun?
Me: *Pointing at bro*
Bro: Dude, I'm...
Me: *BANG* *BANG*
Me: Finally, it's over.
An autistic kid hit me, so I kicked him back and he died.
What is 1 + 1?
They didn’t tell me. Their stomach is upset.
I wanted to bomb a restaurant, so I went in there with a bomb, but the bomb got diffused and did not work.
I asked a person standing nearby. I said, "Hey, do you know how to fix this bomb so I can blow up this place?"
He gave me a book.
It was the Quran.
I said, "What the hell is that?"
He said, "This is the official manual for bomb making."
Rape is so outdated, but when you pay them money, it is a popular date!
Gun + Backpack = Fun!
What do Call of Duty players say when they shoot up a school?
654-721-8940
(If you understand the joke, you're a god.)
I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hairdryer.
I gotta do terrorist :)
The kids at Robb Elementary School went in to read books. Instead, they got dozens of magazines.
George, when I saw your face, I had to shoot you with a Nerf gun. If you died, wimp.
What takes knowledge to do and also takes knowledge away?
Looking down the barrel and pulling the trigger. 😂
When the school shooter finds you under the table,
"Wonderful weather we're having!"
