The 100+ Best Punch Jokes

If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

your mama is so fat 1 punch man had to punch twice

I'd tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I only remember the punch line.

A man walks into a bar and sees a jar of ten dollar bills so he asks the bartender if its a jar of tips. The bartender says no, its for a bet. So the man asks what the bet is and the bartender says, well if you put ten dollars into the jar then knock out the bouncer, next you go outside and remove a rotten tooth out of the rottweiler's mouth, and last you go upstairs and give an orgasm to the fat lady who has never had one. If you can do all those things then you get everything in the jar as well as free drinks for the month. So the guy puts in ten dollars, turns to the guy next to him and knocks him out with one punch. Then the guy continues outside, all you hear for an hour is screaming and whining from the dog, when all is silent the man walks in and asks, so where is the fat lady with the tooth?

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

How do you make a fruit punch? 🍎 You give it a pair of boxing gloves. 🥊

Your mom's so fat that One Punch Man had to take two punches.

How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch? You give them a Sandy Hook.

I was walking down the streets of Manchester when suddenly I saw Penaldo getting arrested! I heard the officer say “This time I give you warning, there will be no penalty”

That’s when Penaldo asked “No penalty?!” and punched the police officer.

Shame on you Penaldo!

I was walking down the street and I punched a white guy, then I was arrested for assault. The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.

Chuck Norris doesn't need to be vaccinated. Vaccines need to be Chuck Norrised.

There was this kid who was going to take a girl to the dance. He had fancy clothes, fancy shoes, etc. Finally, the day of the dance came. He happily drove over to the girl's house. When he got there, he said to her father “thank you for this moment, have a great night”. At the dance, the girl asks the boy, “can I have some food?” He gladly replies “yes” and walks over to the food trucks, only to see a huge line. So he waits in line for like 30 minutes. He comes back to the girl, and she says, “thank you so much, I really needed something to eat”. Then she asks for some sweets and a soda. Again the boy waits in line for about 30-45 minutes. Then he comes back, and she says, “thank you SOOOO much” Then she says she has one more request. The boy, (now clearly agitated) says, “what is it?” She says, can I have some punch? SO the boy walks over to the punch table, but to his surprise, there was no punch line.

SO WHO DID IT the i.s.s teacher said. 1 hour before So let me ge............ Random person wait what you BROKE UP WITH HER. Me I SWEAR JHONNY THIS IS THE 3RD TIME YOU BUD INTO MY CONVERSATION SO..... HERE........ YOU........... GO *punches*