Punch Jokes

Stalin

if you're ever bored, punch an orphan. what are they gonna do? tell their parents?

PScantron

I’d tell a joke about my abusive dad but I only remember the punch line.

so fat
in Fat

your mama is so fat 1 punch man had to punch twice

Anonymous

warning this is dark

how do u knock out 26 kids in one punch give em a sandy hook

Anonymous
in Orphan

If you're ever angry, go ahead and punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Whoozy Guy87

There was this kid who was going to take a girl to the dance. He had fancy clothes, fancy shoes, etc. Finally, the day of the dance came. He happily drove over to the girl's house. When he got there, he said to her father “thank you for this moment, have a great night”. At the dance, the girl asks the boy, “can I have some food?” He gladly replies “yes” and walks over to the food trucks, only to see a huge line. So he waits in line for like 30 minutes. He comes back to the girl, and she says, “thank you so much, I really needed something to eat”. Then she asks for some sweets and a soda. Again the boy waits in line for about 30-45 minutes. Then he comes back, and she says, “thank you SOOOO much” Then she says she has one more request. The boy, (now clearly agitated) says, “what is it?” She says, can I have some punch? SO the boy walks over to the punch table, but to his surprise, there was no punch line.

7
Daniel King
in Fruit

How do you make a fruit punch? 🍎 You give it a pair of boxing gloves. 🥊

Chris Rock

Me at the Oscars when i see Jada Pinkett Smith, me, I said: "G.I. Jane 2, more like G.I Jada 2, can't wait to see it"

So will smith is laughing and then suddenly, Suddenly Will Smith walks up to me and punches me in the face

Me: "Ow, oh, wow. Will Smith just smacked the shit out of me.” My nigcka Smith goes: "KEEP MY WIFE'S NAME OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!" Me: "Maybe you should focus on keeping her friends out of hers"

not anonymous
in Orphan

Sonic says: If you're bored, Punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? tell their parents?

Anonymous
in Roast

your moms so fat that 1 punch man had to take 2 punches.

Anonymous
in Orphan

So if you are bored punch a orphan

What are they gonna do tell there parents 🙄🙄

B....Queen
in Man

A man walks into a bar and sees a jar of ten dollar bills so he asks the bartender if its a jar of tips. The bartender says no, its for a bet. So the man asks what the bet is and the bartender says, well if you put ten dollars into the jar then knock out the bouncer, next you go outside and remove a rotten tooth out of the rottweiler's mouth, and last you go upstairs and give an orgasm to the fat lady who has never had one. If you can do all those things then you get everything in the jar as well as free drinks for the month. So the guy puts in ten dollars, turns to the guy next to him and knocks him out with one punch. Then the guy continues outside, all you hear for an hour is screaming and whining from the dog, when all is silent the man walks in and asks, so where is the fat lady with the tooth?

I’d tell a joke about my abusive dad but I only remember the punch line.

Bob pt 3
in Orphan

So I told an orphan to slap themselves untill they are wanted, I came back the next day to see them slapping themselves then I stopped them then told them to punch themselves. The next day a saw a dead orphan.

Goofy ahh uncle productions

I punched an orphan and told him to go back to his parents and tell them about it… oh wait

Daisy
in Roast

Boi you can't be talking because it someone punched you in the face you will be the one to apologize

School

How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch? You give them a Sandy Hook.

3
Anonymous
in Dark Humor

Whenever you're mad just punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Anonymous

My gf told me she was pregnant. So I punched her in the stomach. She asked me why the hell did I did that. I told her I wanted to let her know I’m pro abortion.