Violence jokes

"Killed two birds with one stone"? Pfft, I once killed two people with one bullet.

If you're ever bored, beat up an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends how hard you throw them.

What kind of punch hurts a kid the most?

A sandy hook.

I slit my wrists.

Q: What is the difference between a pizza and a baby?

A: The pizza does not scream when you put it in the oven.

I'm taking a guitar lesson at school. My band instructor told me he was going to hit me with my guitar. I asked him if that was a "fret."

Americans: Miles per hour.

Europeans: Bullets per kid...

Rape humor is not funny. Like if you agree.

Why are all these pathetic jokes about school shootings?😒 You all are so fucking pathetic... Humanity is officially gone, stupid bitches...

A bully chokes me. I simply say, "Joke's on you, I like being choked!"

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how big they are and how hard you throw them.

I like my women like I like my eggs.

Beaten against a table until her insides come out.

How do you make a cat sound like a dog?

You set it on fire; then it goes, "WOOF!"

What's the best way to get ten babies in a bowl?

A blender.

What's the best way to get them out?

A blender.

First Date: HE: "I work with animals every day!" SHE: "Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?" HE: "I’m a butcher." SHE: "Perfect! I work with humans, I just kill them by cutting them up!"

HE: "So it's you in the newspaper?" SHE: "Yes, it was, wanna be next?" HE: "No!"

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them, with fuck.

What's the difference between a yandere and a gun?

Nothing.

Flip them off the wrong way and you're dead.

What did the guy tired of hearing people joke about rape do?

He killed everyone on this f#cking website.

You're walking into a bar and you see 2 younger kids around 18. You call the manager to have them removed, but no one came down.

Later that night, you see the 2 18-year-olds, 1 was a girl and the other was a boy, so you call the manager down. No one came again. You confront them and tell them to leave, but one turns around and hits you. You are knocked out on the floor. When you wake up, there is a hard feeling in your a**. You turn your head around and there is an autistic girl with a strap-on in your a** going full on hard.