Violence jokes

How many police officers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They just beat the room for being black.

I beat up a failed musician until he started crying.

I thought a few hits would cheer him up!

What's the difference between you and me? You're not strangling a man with a cloak on.

Knock knock. Who's there? Knock knock. Knock knock who? I'll knock knock you out if you don't stop.

I had sex with twins. Well, I think it was twins. All my rage victims look alike.

What’s the difference between an alligator and a child?

You can’t abuse an alligator.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends how hard you throw them.

What did the white kid pull out of his bookbag?

A 9mm.

My wife told me to pass her some chapstick, but then I realized she hasn’t talked to me in a month, then remembering I gave her super glue.........ehh I’m done with her big ass mouth.

I love punching orphans. What are they gonna do? Tell their mum?

Don't mistake my silence for weakness. No one plans a murder out loud.

I was in social studies class and I was taking an exam and I couldn’t remember a lot of the information and everyone looked up shocked. A white kid holding a gun said, “You’re about to become history.” I almost forgot that we weren’t supposed to have any lessons that day.

What's the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels?

Jack Daniels is still killing Indians.

What does a baby and a grenade have in common?

They both make a noise when you throw them.

When the school shooter throws a smoke bomb into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a dance party.

When the school shooter kills five people, and the autistic kid yells, "Heroes never die!"

Bruh, the cops just arrested a black dude...

Well nvm, they shot him dead.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw it.

What does a killer say in the shower in the morning?

- Splish splash, I'm gonna slash...

Two guys were beating up someone in an alley, so I stepped in to help.

He didn't stand a chance against the three of us.