I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hairdryer.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
I don't know, it depends on how hard you throw them.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
One, if you throw it hard enough.
I was at my boyfriend's house, and I thought he was cheating on me. He was on the phone with somebody, and he said he'd be over there soon. So I asked him if I could see his phone. He said no, and then we fought about it until I saw his gun, and because I thought he was lying to me, I shot him, went through his phone, and his friend was still on the phone.
Why did Brandon's mum chase him with a knife? Because he didn't let her cum first!
Funny thing is, dead women can't say no...
Roses are red, your mother has said, "Come back again, and you'll be dead!"
Why don’t you peel a banana?
It’s too hard to kill your nana.
Are you a bullet?
*gets shot*
What has 5 legs, 3 arms, and 7 feet?
The finish line at the marathon bombing.
If you punch an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?
What do you call it when you light a person in a wheelchair on fire?
Cooking the vegetables.
I was walking to the park and a mystery killer came and shot me.
A man walked into a bar with an AK-47 with a 50-round mag and yelled out, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" Everyone was quiet.
One man at the back stood up and called, "Sorry mate, but I don't think you have enough bullets."
My wife told me to pass her some chapstick, but then I realized she hasn’t talked to me in a month, then remembering I gave her super glue.........ehh I’m done with her big ass mouth.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Answer:
The man said, "He's going to rape the people on the side of the road."
I'll break your bones, b*tch.
I wanna fight Gwen!
My wife slept with another man and got pregnant. She told me 9 weeks later. I said it's ok and told her let's talk downstairs, so I pushed her down the stairs.
What has two legs, two arms, one dead and covered in red?
My ex-wife.
