Violence jokes
Q: What’s the difference between a sleeping lady and an onion?
A: One doesn’t scream when you try to chop it up.
Where does a suicide bomber go when he dies?
Everywhere.
My friend threw a soccer ball at a disabled kid.
We all yelled "Rocket league!"
If you're bored, just punch an orphan. It's not like they can tell their parents.
The only thing funnier than the shooting of that healthcare CEO is imagining the look on his wife's face when she got the hospital bill.
What did the cannibal say to the other?
"Can I practise on you?"
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What time do terrorists arrive in New York City?
9:11 AM
Mary's mother was a good person. Why did she die?
Because she got stabbed in the heart 60 times by a switchblade.
*School shooting happens* Foreign exchange student: *Sobbing under desk* American student: "First time?"
Roses or daisies? Now I know what flowers to put on your casket when I murder that pussy.
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
What's worse than Sally in a trash can? Sally in thirteen trash cans.
What’s the difference between rape and marriage?
With marriage, you get to keep the screaming woman.
"Kidnapping is just surprise adoption, congrats! You are now all my children! Just hop into the portal that leads to the Lust Ring in Hell!"
Hate me all you want, but I rather love bullying in all fairness. I love to watch all the loner kids being abused while simultaneously making a prediction for when which one of them will finally snap and shoot up the school.
What do you tell a female with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, you already told her twice.
Raping white women should be encouraged everywhere!
What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? One dead baby nailed to ten trees.
When you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their mummy?
Me: I’m gonna smite the life out of you!!!
Orphan: What! No! Please no!
Me: What you gonna do? Run home and tell your parents? Wait, I forgot, you don’t have a home or parents!!!!