Violence jokes

I woke up one day to find handcuffs on my bed. Turns out, the girl I drugged yesterday escaped.

Q: How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?

A: You give them a Sandy Hook.

What's big and yellow...?

A bus full of kids.

I killed a man in '94.

The way to stop school shootings is to give children an RPG.

I lit my girlfriend on fire. I guess you could say I ignited her fire.

I fared it. I ticked the orphan. He jiggled, he was burning, so I did it again.

School shootings are everywhere. In ice cream shops and even the woods.

I will remember my auntie's last words: "If you shoot me, your p-nis is small!"

(gun shot)

So Little Johnny saw a robbery, so he tried to stop the robber. To the robber's surprise, he was amazed. So Johnny got 20 shots to the head. The End.

What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? One dead baby nailed to ten trees.

I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white woman. He chopped her up and put her in the woods, the suck fuck.

When you throw your peanut butter sandwich at the nut allergy table: 25+ kill streak!

Sonic says if you're bored, go punch an orphan. I mean, what are they going to do, tell their parents?

My girlfriend didn't bring me the sandwich, so I brought the gas.

What kind of punch do little kids give to other little kids? The Sandy Hook.

Why did I beat up the orphan? Because he was a whiny bitch who wouldn't shut the fuck up.

What do blind kids and orphans have in common? I fucking hate their whiny asses and beat them up.

Me: I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g.”

Emo kid: He said like your bullet holes, G.

Me: I have no bullet holes.

Emo kid: Not yet, you don't.

Me: Ayo what the fuc*.

Ricardo Medina, one of the former red Power Rangers, pleaded guilty to killing his roommate with a sword.