Violence jokes
I'm not saying I hate you, but if you got hit by a bus, I'd be driving that bus.
Yo mama so ugly even bullets refuse to kill her.
What do you call someone who gets killed at 12 o'clock on New Year's? First kill of the match.
What's black, white, and red all over?
A nun in a blender.
I hate jokes about 9/11... every joke has the tendency to crash and burn.
"I didn't get the joke at first, but then it hit me like a plane," the joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.
What do people have a shot at when it comes to love? Shooting them in the heart.
Anyone else think High School Musical would have been a better film with a school shooter?
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for Christmas.
He said it was the most violent book he ever read.
Remember kids if ur ever mad beat up an orphan what are they gonna do call their mom??
Me: Hi, my name is...
Bro: Hey guys! So who are you?
Me: Hey, stop dude!
Bro: How is it going, bro--
Me: SHUT UP!
Bro: Is that a gun?
Me: *Pointing at bro*
Bro: Dude, I'm...
Me: *BANG* *BANG*
Me: Finally, it's over.
99% of women kiss with their eyes closed, that's why it's so hard to identify the rapist.
When the speedbump in a school zone screams, so you go faster.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how big they are and how hard you throw them.
"Fuck off for I killed him, bum bum."
Sadly, blind jokes are cruel. A kid at my school was punched the other day for being blind.
Sadly, he didn't see it coming.
Bored? Beat up an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
If I were alone on an island with Camilla Cabello, and we were never going to escape, I'd rape her. I mean, what is she going to do? Tell someone?
What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.
What's all fuzzy, warm, and laughing? The person who snapped its neck and put it into the blender.
I'll pat your breasts, pat your breasts, cos I'm a baker's man, and you better bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I'll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", And then throw you in the fire cos you're now worthless to me!
If you go to the military and you get sent to a country, how many heads will you blow off?
That number is how many dicks you suck.