Why did the terrorist not get paid, but they loved their job?
They di2s drying plans.
Slay.
How do you help a rape victim on a diet lose 7 pounds?
Kill her afterwards.
Two men are next to each other. One looks at the other and asks, "Are you a fascist?"
The other man responds, "No, why would I be?"
The first man pulls out a gun and says, "Are you sure?"
The second man says, "Never mind, I am a fascist!"
When you're playing online with your friend, then you hear a kid scream: "No, Dad, please stop!" Scream ends with a gunshot.
Suicide bombers, carry bombs and remember to breathe.
Man 1: You look like Scott Cawthon.
Man 2: I'm gonna put your dick in a Coffin!
Man 3: Me first!
I went to school and everyone was screaming and looking at me. They weren't after I shot them, though.
Me: Hey, apple.
Apple: What?
Me: Knife.
Apple: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Clear all your debts with one easy payment. Buy a shotgun and blow your head off.
A guy walks into a bar with a 44 magnum and yells, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" The guy behind the bar says, "Mate, you don't have enough bullets!"
What’s red, 11 inches, and makes my girlfriend cry when I slap her with it?
Her miscarriage.
Guns control.
Today my idiot brother screamed, "Ahhhhh, I'm dead!" But it wasn't really, so I decided to make it a reality until my sister came...
AND HELPED ME! - for once, but then two minutes later my mom showed up. We killed him right in front of her, and she screamed! "Donuts and pizza for you and more if you go to Mrs. Roberts' house and say hi and bye to Daddy!!!!!" And she hands us both a sharp tool, and I say, "What about Tommy??!!! Aren't you MAD!!!!!!!" Then she replied, "Who's THAT!!??? Coz he ain't mine. His name is Tommy, Tommy Roberts."
So then me and my sister visit Mrs. Roberts, and she said, "Oh, this isn't anything important. Go home!" So then my sister and I say hi! and do a countdown. After that my Nike white jumper had turned red! IT WAS A MUCH BETTER COLOUR, MUM SEEMED TO APROVE AS WELL! 😊😊😊 But then the police question us where daddy was, so then Mom said....................... oh he's moved on! So then the police officer was like, "Ahem, ma'm where!" SO THEN I BELLOWED.......................... UP - UR -A##. And we got let off the hook, then we moved oh and we k!lled the cop 2 and oh did i meantion we HAD a maid, and a landlord and a cat but they were all 2 annoying so we got rid of them and now our new backyard is very smellyyy and i dont think there is enoff space to put muummy anymore so now i dont think sissy will fit either🧐 i will ask my neibour nessy she'll obviously say YES or ill........................................
ok like for part two☺☺☺
How did I kill Georgee?
I snatched her boat! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!
These nine kids were being bullied by these 10 guys in an alley. So, I thought I would help.
It was 9/11 all over again.
What do you do if your dishwasher stops working?
Punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.
What's black and white and can't turn around in a corridor?
A nun with a javelin through her neck.
How do Americans learn the metric system?
9mm at a time. The problem is sometimes it goes straight through their heads.
Katsuki Bakugou went into a bar and said: "Where is that damn nerd?!?". Everyone was confused.
Bakugou says: "Tell me where Deku is or I'll kill you!" He kills them all because they all have green hair.
