Violence jokes

I will remember my auntie's last words: "If you shoot me, your p-nis is small!"

(gun shot)

What does Sonic say when he's bored?

Punch an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?

I lit my girlfriend on fire. I guess you could say I ignited her fire.

The way to stop school shootings is to give children an RPG.

I killed a man in '94.

What's big and yellow...?

A bus full of kids.

Bro, if I die, I want to die blown up by 34 pounds of C4 at a furry convention.

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire.

Now we call him hot wheels.

I fared it. I ticked the orphan. He jiggled, he was burning, so I did it again.

What would you do after seeing your most loved one shot? Reload.

Why is it ok to hit an orphan?

Because they can't call their parents.

Why do American guns only have 30 rounds?

Because it's the average class size.

Will Smith slapped your hairline to space.

Sonic says if you're bored, go punch an orphan. I mean, what are they going to do, tell their parents?

Why did I beat up the orphan? Because he was a whiny bitch who wouldn't shut the fuck up.

What do blind kids and orphans have in common? I fucking hate their whiny asses and beat them up.

Me: I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g.”

Emo kid: He said like your bullet holes, G.

Me: I have no bullet holes.

Emo kid: Not yet, you don't.

Me: Ayo what the fuc*.

Ricardo Medina, one of the former red Power Rangers, pleaded guilty to killing his roommate with a sword.

I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white woman. He chopped her up and put her in the woods, the suck fuck.

My girlfriend didn't bring me the sandwich, so I brought the gas.