Violence jokes

Say _______ is so flat that when someone hit them, they got a paper cut!

Roses are red, so is my gun. Why do you ask? Because it's full of blood.

One time I fucked this chick so hard, she almost came back to life.

What does Sonic say when he's bored?

Punch an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?

What's the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?

One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer; the other one is just an orphan.

Kid: "THERE'S A SHOOTER IN THE BUILDING!"

Shooter: "Oops."

On my signal, I would like you to drive onto the pavement (sidewalk) and run over my ex-wife.

Win a free ride in a police car! Just pick up a knife and use it!

My friend said she was tired of seeing me every day.

So I pushed her off the side of a cliff.

How do you put a baby in the blender feet first so you can see its facial expressions?

How do you get it out? Tortilla chip.

When you hide in the girl's bathroom so the school shooter won't go in there: 😃

When you notice that the school shooter is female: 😟

Me and my wife love playing table tennis. I couldn’t win all day, but when it got dark, I managed to beat her. I don’t know how the police found out so quickly.

This kid lost Kahoot, so he shot up the school.

*World War 2 going on and then stops.*

Me: "I guess you would say it was a gory-ious battle."

Mom: You can't die in the living room, David, so you can stop stabbing and shooting yourself.

David: I will surpass Kakarot!

Jordan: *dead on the living room floor*

When you're angry, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Q: Why is it fun to hit an orphan?

A: Who are they going to tell, their parents?

My friend thinks he is funny.

He told me that the only food that makes you cry is an onion, so I threw a coconut at him.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?

It depends how hard you throw them.

When you have a box of dead babies in your garage and one of them is alive at the bottom and has to eat its way out but goes back for seconds.