Violence jokes

My dad came over late at night. He was drunk. He started telling me how useless I was. Then I went to the kitchen, grabbed a knife, and stabbed him in the chest 47 times.

Three minutes later, he died. Now I’m losing my mind and cutting myself.

I was having sex with my girl, and she said she likes it rough, so I socked her in the face.

What did the soldier say when he sees a terrorist in a wheelchair?

RC-XD incoming.

I feel bad for the kids at Sandy Hook. All they wanted was books, but got magazines instead.

99% of women kiss with their eyes closed, that's why it's so hard to identify the rapist.

How do you make a builder cry?

Kill his family.

[being buried alive]

Murderer: *out of breath* How are you eating the dirt so quickly?

Where did Lucy go during the bombing? Everywhere.

What’s the difference between the baby I just stabbed and Isaac Newton?

Isaac Newton died a virgin.

What do my little brother and a vagina have in common?

They both ooze blood 🩸 when punched.

What's worse than 10 babies nailed to a tree? 1 baby, nailed to 10 trees.

How do you make any salad into a caesar salad?

Stab it twenty-three times.

If you're ever bored, just rape an orphan! What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

My teacher: If you could go anywhere, where would you go?

Me: Demon Slayer.

My teacher: Why?

The quiet kid: TO GET EATEN BY A DEMON OR BECOME ONE!!!

Want to know what I do in my freetime?

Punch an orphan, cuz what are they going to do, tell their mom?

Why are Americans stupid? They shoot everyone that goes to school.

The hardest part of picking up a hitch hiker is tying them up.

What's the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?

One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer; the other one is just an orphan.

Today, I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. The police thought it was suicide since I have no fingerprints. Wow, I’m so nice taking care of the disabled.

"Rapeboat" has six fingers on each hand and one big eyebrow. Signs of inbreeding.