Violence jokes
I was walking down the street one day and I passed the gun store. I walked in and everything was half off. I didn't know back to school sales had started already.
How do you blow up an Indian person?
You press the red button.
A mirror and a terrorist are the same... Only... a mirror doesn't need a gun to kill.
What can you give a white person that you can't give to a black person?
A black eye.
What does a terrorist get for Christmas?
A C4.
I'll always remember my grandpa's last words.
"Are you getting the knife?"
Me: I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g.”
Emo kid: He said like your bullet holes, G.
Me: I have no bullet holes.
Emo kid: Not yet, you don't.
Me: Ayo what the fuc*.
I asked my friend if he would take a bullet for the last person he slept with.
He said hell yeah, I'd do anything for my sister!
What takes knowledge to do and also takes knowledge away?
Looking down the barrel and pulling the trigger. 😂
Did you know that big black dicks can be weapons and can kill people?
Floyd Mayweather proved it when he gave it to Logan Paul in the ass.
Little Timmy said, "I had a body, eieio, now you are next!" as he shoots you.
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
Not like they can tell their parents.
I, for one, wish Donald Trump was President again. It's been a while since we had a presidential assassination.
What does it mean when there is a man in your bed, gasping for breath and saying your name?
It just means that you didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
Robber 1: *gets shot in ass*
Robber 2: You have to shit in a bag for life lol.
Robber 1: What, the Tesco or Asda one?
Are you a school? Because I want to shoot kids inside you.
My friend said she wanted to fly, so I pushed her off a building.
Why are there a lot of whites in hockey?
It’s the only other job that involves beating something black other than being a cop.
Q. What do you get when you cross Vince Li with a bus? A. A whole lot of people who wished they'd missed the bus that day.
When you're sad, hit an orphan.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?