Violence Jokes

My girlfriend said, "GIMME EIGHT INCHES AND MAKE IT HURT!"

So I pumped my dick in her 4 times and hit her in the head with a brick.

A penis has a bad life. His neighbor is an asshole, his friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him.

Little Johnny walked into class with a black eye, and the teacher said, "Why do you have a black eye?"

Johnny said, "Well, me and my parents have to share a bed, and my dad asked me if I was asleep and I said no, so he smacked me."

The teacher said, "Well tonight, don't say anything."

The next day, Johnny walked in with another black eye, and the teacher said, "Why do you have another black eye?" Little Johnny said, "Well, last night, I did what you said and didn't say anything when my dad asked me if I was asleep. A few minutes later, my dad said he was coming, and my mom said she was coming too. They usually don't go anywhere without me so I said 'Wait for me, I'm coming too.'"

Did you hear about the terrorist comedian?

He was actually quite funny...

He just blew the delivery.

(I'll show myself out).

When the school shooter makes the emo kid hang himself and the autistic kid thinks it's a piñata: 🤪🏏

What do you call a school bus with 30 kids?

A killstreak.

How [does] a disabled kid face [the] Jalalas?

He can't run, just hug the bomb.

If you ever get mad, just punch an orphan. What are they supposed to do? Tell their parents?

What's worse than 5 babies tied to 5 trees?

1 baby tied to 5 trees.

What is worse: 10 babies stapled to 1 tree, or 1 baby stapled to ten trees?

What's Adam's biggest fear?

Andy with a belt.

OMG guys, I finally did it. I made a head slicey boy. I have headless.

So the other day my black friend and I were working on a group project. He was so slow so I whipped him to make him faster.

Do you know the best thing about killing a hooker?

Not only do you get your money back, but the second hour is free.

It's not rape if you say "April Fools!"

How do you make a baby cry?

You punch it in the face.

What do you get when you cross a bunny and a Rottweiler? Just the Rottweiler.

You're the bunny, and I'm the Rottweiler.

Rape jokes aren’t funny. People like me that are actually victims of rape are triggered by them.

My dad came over late at night. He was drunk. He started telling me how useless I was. Then I went to the kitchen, grabbed a knife, and stabbed him in the chest 47 times.

Three minutes later, he died. Now I’m losing my mind and cutting myself.